Who Can Shop To This Stuff?

When I shop, I shop hard.  Laser-guided even.

I am not, what my husband calls a "gatherer".  Meaning, I no longer go out and shop just for the fun of it, grazing, if you will, from store to store. I lost the ability to mindlessly gather after having children. Children = timeframe.  I no longer have hours to wander and linger in stores.  If I have a precious hour or two to myself I use the time well.  I plan.

I'm a "hunter".  I now shop with a purpose.

Today's purpose?  To find great deals at Goodwill on fleeces and long sleeved shirts, and to check out what brand new Target items had come in since last week's visit for Halloween costumes.  You may not realize that Goodwill purchases "lots" from Target - which include completely new items that have been discounted at my favorite big box store (as I won't touch Walmart), but still didn't seem to sell. 

What did I find?  An LL Bean and Lands End fleece for $3.00 each, and a few other long sleeved items.  As tempted as I was to browse short sleeve items, dresses, pants and housewares, I reminded myself that even though it is only October 10, my 100 year old brick house with plaster walls is already chilly and I refuse for our heating bills to break our budget, so rather than turn up the heat, I'll choose layers, thank you.

I also found a Jango Fett and Darth Vader helmet (not, these aren't for me) and a few composition notebooks for only $.30 a piece - no doubt left over from the school supply sales.  I'm tucking these away for next year.  The best find, however is a new comforter set with shams, and dust ruffle for our bed.  Never opened.  $25.  The colors are great - now if we could just get to repainting the very depressing walls and trim of that space.  The former owners apparently found a mix of a putty mauve for the walls and grey for the trim a good pick for the bedroom.  I don't see how anything exciting ever happened in that dark den. Ahem.

Anyway, it was a fruitful trip.

And yet, slightly disturbing.

Half-way through harvesting my crops, I was distracted by the lyrics of a song playing over the store loudspeaker.

"I'll take you for a drive on my big green tractor . . . "

Let me just get this out on the table right now.  I am not a fan of country music.  I have never heard a country song that I liked.  I don't get country music.  I don't want to get country music.

My apologies if this hurts your feelings.  You are welcome to create your own blog about your love of country music.  Please don't pour out your Cuppa Jo just because I could care less about riding around on a big green tractor, or singing about what I love about Sundays.

That was the next song.  The artist took stole about 3 minutes away from my ability to focus by sharing about his love for strolling to the end of the drive.  Reading the Sunday Times.  And drinking coffee.  Ok, well, that part was digestable.

But the kicker?  The song that almost tripped me up and forced me off my game?  Some pitifully warbled downer about real life.  These lyrics will never make it on to my half-marathon play list.

"We had to put Mama in a nursing home, and baby's cuttin' teeth."

Can you blame me?

Had to shake my head a bit and refocus after that one, but thankfully, the inspiring music that is country music didn't completely ruin my ability to get the job done.  I stayed on task.

How do people listen to this stuff and manage to not end up curled up in a ball on the floor in the corner of a dark room swiggin' moonshine that was made in the woods behind their house?

That was mean.  And intentional.

If you are a country music fan, I'd like to ask you not to give up on reading here, and offer you a bit of a challenge.

Without googling, (y'all are on the honor system here), can you tell me the title of the three songs which almost ruined my perfectly good afternoon of bargain shopping?  I already fed you a few of the annoying lyrics, as I can't seem to get them out of my head.

Perhaps the former owners of my home were having a country music house party when they painted the master bedroom.