Wednesday, July 1, 2009


My little Z-lion is a bundle of nerves these days. I've made mention that he is having a tougher time adjusting to our move than Harper, which has just completely shocked us. In the beginning, he was asking when we were going home, and most recently he has communicated fear that he won't make any friends. At least he's talking about it.

Today was the first day he verbalized, "Mommy, I am too nervous to go in there," in reference to reading time at the library. The program is fantastic and includes reading and some songs.

Both my kids have NEVER enjoyed group music classes once they reached 3 years old.

So, as the kids began the opening song, which was just a silly version of the Wheels on the Bus (which was cute) Zane would not stand up and practically crawled under the chair to hide. I decided to remove him from the situation, as he was so uncomfortable, and take him to choose books. It was when we got into the stacks that he wailed, "I'm so nervous!" It was a real, guttural cry. As a parent you begin to distinguish cries. He was a wreck.

This hasn't been the first time. We tried class last week and the same thing occurred, but I held on through the craft section and Harper even came in to sit with him on the floor, as otherwise he'd be on my lap the entire time. She was an incredible help.

Today, she offered to buy him a prize with her earned Book Bucks ("money" redeemed for prizes each time you read a certain amount of books), which really cheered him up. Quite impressive, my dear Harper.

What's funny, is that I would think that in anxious situations, the first thing to slip would be potty training. Nope. We've not had one problem. Even at night. Perhaps he realizes that this is the one thing he can truly control right now.

He has asked about taking gymnastic class, so George brought him to a trial class tonight. I got a call about 20 minutes in. Now I was the one nervous to answer the phone.

"He didn't want to participate in the stretching, but once the tumbling started he was all about it. He learned how to do a back flip on the rings, and even offered to straighten out the mat for the other kids when it got crooked."

I told Harper that Zane actually participated in something and she got so excited. We waited for him on the front the porch and then cheered as they drove up.

Zane got out, all smiles, yelled, "I LOVED IT!" and proceeded to show me a forward roll ON THE SIDEWALK!


He was ok.

His new friends who live behind us came by and he stopped. Immediately.

"I don't want anyone watching me."


Guess where I've heard that before?

She was once 4 years old.

I may have to go back and read my own blogs to see how to and how not to proceed should he share a certain personality trait with his sister. Good thing I've kept a history. I wrote much about Harper, but even as I start to look back at Zane, I recall that he hasn't taken a liking to group stuff (with kids - wouldn't do the Skokie library kids program without clinging to my side), and can't stand places where there are crowds and tons of noise. His SLC class had 12 kids and 3 teachers and was very structured. Gymnastic class had 5 kids. At his new Sunday School (which was a bit of a struggle) he talked about one boy.

He's a small group type of kid. As is Harper.

I can't wait to attend the gymnastic class with him next week and am so very glad he found an activity that is fun, builds confidence, and one which he expressed delight!

Stay tuned tomorrow as I share how Harper read books to a seeing eye dog tonight. Ishtar, a black lab, comes to the library on Tuesday nights, and Harper signed up to read to him. It was right up her alley.


thecurryseven said...

This sounds so much like my B. at that age. Truly, anyone who was not family would have thought something was majorly wrong with the boy because of how he didn't want to have anything to do with people. And did I mention he's also as stubborn as the day is long? I finally gave up trying to get him to join classes (I was just as happy to save the money). He was happiest at home, so that's what we did. Turns out he was a (very) late bloomer as far as socializing went. At four, I would have never believed someone if they were to say to me that he would love acting, run his own bread business, and apply to work on staff at scout camp next summer. (He still doesn't like to answer the phone, but he will if necessary.)

Anyway, all this to say, I think the pre-school ages are tricky...and certainly no indication of the future. I also think that transitions are particularly difficult during them as well. (My father who taught kindergarten for years, says he could always tell the children who had new babies at home since they were a littly wonkier than the others.)

It sounds as though you're doing a great job of helping Z. through this. I just wanted to say that for his age, I think his reaction to a major transition is so completely normal. Hang in there!


Angie said...

Absolutely love to see comments from a seasoned mom!