Sunday, April 19, 2009

Ducking and Weaving

I never thought I'd receive inspiration for a post from a kid's movie. And if ever I was to attempt to glean inspiration for a post from a kid's movie, I doubt I would choose Zathura as the film through which I would receive a new nugget for personal reflection. For I'd tend to lean more towards a film with the depth of, say, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, or The Secret Garden. But, Zathura? Surprising.

This isn't a movie review.

Although I will offer up that we enjoyed it. It was a great Movie Night selection for the family.

Pretty early into the film, a moved game piece on the Zathura board, (Yep, it's a game. Think "Jumanji", only 2005 style), sends asteroids raining down upon the living room of the house where the main characters reside.

The asteroids, of which there were many, both large and small, came blasting through the roof, shattering windows, toppling bookshelves, crushing furniture and burning holes in the floorboards. Seemingly unavoidable, these searing, reckless, and aimlessly flaming rocks rained haphazardly through every inch of the room. The kids, in an endless frenzy, spun and ran in several directions to avoid being hit. But, as quickly as they ran, the destructive asteroids were able to match all evasive maneuvers with lightening speed.

I knew the asteroid shower would end - as this was a movie and we were only about 20 minutes in - but, even so, I felt a huge amount of tension. The scene touched a cord. For I realized that the asteroid shower would only end when it was time for it to end.

This made an impression on me.

In a really surprising way, I related with the two boys. Engulfed by flaming chaos, they ran, dodged, ducked and hid to avoid being hit, resting for a millisecond only to turn, just in time, to find another asteroid headed straight for them, thus destroying the safe spot they thought they'd found. One after another rocks fell all around them keeping the boys on an exhausting adventure of staying on their toes, with all senses alert, endorphins firing, and "not a moment to lose".

This is how I feel.

I was recently sharing with a girlfriend (a newly engaged girlfriend - YEAH!) how over these last few months we have felt hit with one thing after another. She replied with, "Oh come on Joline, this isn't new. It's amazing what you and George have handled over the past four years." And, she was right. Here I was sharing my exhaustion from a few months of experiencing an asteroid shower of sorts, only to have my gal pal acknowledge (thankfully) that we've actually been ducking and weaving hot rocks for years. Huge boulders. Smaller nuggets. Broken and jagged bits and pieces. All shapes and sizes. A constant stream of them for four years. None completely debilitating, some only slightly annoying, but, yet, a constant barrage.

She went on to say, "Over these past 4 years, there has always been something that you two have been hit with."

I can honestly say that other than my family, she is the first person here to acknowledge that this truly has been the case for us. Even I have tried to brush off the impact made by the constant "fires" by redefining our lives as a "new normal", even though this "new normal" has taken an incredible toll on my physical, spiritual, and emotional health - which, simply, can not be good.

Do you realize how comforting it was to have someone communicate that they have seen how difficult the past four years have been? I am so very thankful - not so much for her seeing our difficulty, but more so that she actually told me that she could see how hard it has been.

Everyone has their asteroid showers. I know this. I'm not saying that my shower is tougher than yours. I'm not challenging you to a "my life is harder than your life" competition. I also don't believe in a health and wealth Gospel that insures that I will have a healthy and prosperous life, free from hardship and suffering, because I believe, love, and make my feeble attempts to walk with Jesus.

This is not a compare and contrast piece.

Rather, it is a personal acknowledgement that the ducking and weaving from both the big and small calamities of life, has completely challenged my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual toughness. I am the-about-to-be-40 year old woman that I never thought I would ever be. The tired one. Worn out. A bit frayed.

Thankfully, I have faith that God won't leave me in this place. I'm pretty darn sure that He has a personal training program set up for me to begin.

Just. Not. Now.

The asteroid shower hasn't let up enough yet. I do have faith it will slow down, allowing me time to catch my breath. However, I am not praying that it will stop altogether, because life doesn't really work that way. For there will always be an asteroid of some size. So I am praying for the frequency of the blows to slow up, enough for me make an attempt to regroup. And until that day, I will rely upon my belief that in my weakness He is so very strong. For once the shower is downgraded to a "spit", I will once again have a window of time to rest and train up my mind, body, and spirit back to my former self.

So, thanks Zathura for the visual. (Geez. That's sounds so weird.)

And thank you, Stephanie, for the verbal acknowledgment that we've been bombarded.

And congratulations on your engagement!!!!!


thecurryseven said...

I don't think the asteroids ever stop falling, they just change in frequency. Last year, during what felt like a particularly strong asteroid shower, I was teaching a hymn to M&M Club. Some days it felt as though singing that hymn is the only thing that got me through the week.

"When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest in His unchanging grace. In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the vale. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is shifting sand, all other ground is shifting sand."

Cuppa Jo said...

Amen Curry! Those are some good words.

Cuppa Jo said...

I agree. The asteroids never stop - they just change in size and frequency. I too have had one line from a hymn going through my mind over and over.

"Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me".

Christi said...

Keep hangin in there!

Even when it appears to others that we are holding everything together, it is nice for someone to realize and point out that we are bearing a big load.

Don't exactly know why that is true, but it is!