I never thought I'd receive inspiration for a post from a kid's movie. And if ever I was to attempt to glean inspiration for a post from a kid's movie, I doubt I would choose Zathura as the film through which I would receive a new nugget for personal reflection. For I'd tend to lean more towards a film with the depth of, say, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, or The Secret Garden. But, Zathura? Surprising.
This is how I feel.
I can honestly say that other than my family, she is the first person here to acknowledge that this truly has been the case for us. Even I have tried to brush off the impact made by the constant "fires" by redefining our lives as a "new normal", even though this "new normal" has taken an incredible toll on my physical, spiritual, and emotional health - which, simply, can not be good.
Do you realize how comforting it was to have someone communicate that they have seen how difficult the past four years have been? I am so very thankful - not so much for her seeing our difficulty, but more so that she actually told me that she could see how hard it has been.
Everyone has their asteroid showers. I know this. I'm not saying that my shower is tougher than yours. I'm not challenging you to a "my life is harder than your life" competition. I also don't believe in a health and wealth Gospel that insures that I will have a healthy and prosperous life, free from hardship and suffering, because I believe, love, and make my feeble attempts to walk with Jesus.
This is not a compare and contrast piece.
Rather, it is a personal acknowledgement that the ducking and weaving from both the big and small calamities of life, has completely challenged my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual toughness. I am the-about-to-be-40 year old woman that I never thought I would ever be. The tired one. Worn out. A bit frayed.
Thankfully, I have faith that God won't leave me in this place. I'm pretty darn sure that He has a personal training program set up for me to begin.
Just. Not. Now.
The asteroid shower hasn't let up enough yet. I do have faith it will slow down, allowing me time to catch my breath. However, I am not praying that it will stop altogether, because life doesn't really work that way. For there will always be an asteroid of some size. So I am praying for the frequency of the blows to slow up, enough for me make an attempt to regroup. And until that day, I will rely upon my belief that in my weakness He is so very strong. For once the shower is downgraded to a "spit", I will once again have a window of time to rest and train up my mind, body, and spirit back to my former self.
So, thanks Zathura for the visual. (Geez. That's sounds so weird.)
And thank you, Stephanie, for the verbal acknowledgment that we've been bombarded.
And congratulations on your engagement!!!!!