I Resolve?

I struggle with the idea of making Resolutions, and specifically New Year's Resolutions, as I tend to make and reassess my personal goals throughout the year.

I also struggle with New Year's Resolutions because I never actually succeed in completing them.

Which is funny, because I am a huge goal-maker.

I'm running circles.

Maybe I just have a problem with the actual word.

Resolve.

I was once up for a role in "She Loves Me", (a role I should have gotten - seriously, this is not merely a Joline brag-fest. The role was terribly miscast) whose character sings the belted tune, "I Resolve".

I could take a tip from the opening lines of that song.

I resolve not to be so stupid.
I resolve not to be so dumb.

I awoke this morning with a lot on my mind. The most pressing thought being that I'd prefer not to make stupid and dumb choices with regards to my Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, and Financial health. And, of course, as January 1 brings this out in people, I'd love to see these changes, or rather, adjustments implemented in 2009. Thankfully, God's grace quickly rushed into my pity-fest and He reminded me of what HAD been accomplished in 2008. So, as an exercise in documenting God's goodness and how He can override our stupidity, I'll start there:

• God gave our family the stamina to fight for, and get answers to that which had been ailing Harper since Kindergarten. It was the first time that I had to truly advocate for my child. I watched God restore her to the confident and joyful girl that we have always known her to be.
• God put the desire on my heart to step up as a Co-leader for Moms R Us at church. Monday mornings have thus become a place of rejuvenation, fellowship, challenge, and delight for my heart.
  
• I began to write. Alot.
  
• I continued building my personal Mary Kay business as a means of covering the lost income of closing my private coaching business - a risky financial decision, and yet a smart emotional decision.
  
• I retained two of my most precious coaching clients to the tune of watching one open on tour for Corbin Bleu (of HS Musical fame), and the other, just recently, clinch the lead in the musical at New Trier - as a Junior.
• We read aloud more as a family this year.
• We began the process of figuring out how we do family devotions and were fairly consistent with practicing a family devotional time.
• We, and many others, helped a good friend, Fred Bryant, see his dream of owning a guitar by pitching in to pay for the building of his one of a kind instrument.
  
• We learned to live on one car.
• I'm sure there is so much more . . .
  

So, where do we go from here? I would love to see God work through me in the following areas in 2009. And since the word Resolve just doesn't cut it, I'll call these New Year Responsibilities - for the word connotes a more active participation in the process.

Financial Responsibility.
We are taking a hard look at this for 2009. Drastic changes are in the mix to restore this area for our family. Drastic changes. Like, as in, hold on to your hats, drastic.

• Writing needs to be a part of this drastic change. Prayerfully.
• Mary Kay will continue.
• I am needing to follow Gods lead and keep my eyes open for new opportunities.
  

Physical Responsibility.
I dropped 7 pounds on the detox program. And while I've not put it all back on, I've also failed to stick to all the commitments I yearned to keep after finishing the program (grace unto me . . . I finished the purge on Thanksgiving Day . . . so I entered the holiday season immediately following).

• Lose 10 lbs and be back to my original pre-pregnancy weight. I'm so close.
  
• Return to running (I have already begun this).
  
• Return to weight-training - women's bones need it.
  
• Diet, Vitamins, Exercise.
  
• Exercise for FREE. I've got all the tools I need.

Spiritual Responsibility.

• Biblical word study on "worship".
• Read The Jesus Creed with Moms R Us.
  
• George had the brilliant idea of reciting "The Jesus Creed" with the children every morning. He even gave me a beautiful wall plaque for our home which bears these life changing words: Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.
• We will also be reading a Proverb a week with the children and working on memorizing them.

Emotional Responsibility.
I am at my best emotional strength when I am involved in activities that further the emotional strength of other people. Simply put, learning to live life as if it doesn't revolve around me. It's about getting off my rump and being available for other people, and challenging others, who are wallowing on their rumps, to do the same. That's the tricky part.

While God has wired me in such a way that I am compelled to encourage others to make the best choices for themselves, this is not always well received. I am a straight shooter. Just as I have to make wise emotional decisions for myself, I will always challenge other women to do the same.

I think everyone needs a little "iron sharpens iron" in life. I have found that iron-sharpening woman certainly make for the deepest friendships. My spiritual gifts are Administration (which I have ignored for YEARS), and Discernment. Non-use of these gifts has dulled my sharpening instincts. In 2008 I was blessed to use both of these gifts with Moms R Us, and by doing so, I have been sharpened emotionally. Thus, I will continue to make sharpening choices for both myself and will encourage those I love to do the same.

Ok, now I'm just fatiguing myself. But I'm not overwhelmed. Just, well, excited. I'm full of positive anticipation and as I begin to look at Resolutions as actual Responsibilities, I am flooded with purpose, rather than a "to do" list.

Happy New Year.

Be fiscally responsible.
Be spiritually responsible.
Be physically responsible.
Be emotionally responsible.

I don't merely want to DO these things.

I want to BE these things.

This is an entirely new way of looking at New Year Responsibilities. It's not about a list.

It's about life.