Back in Business

It just took unpacking my office to remind me that I am running a home business that has been put on hold since leaving Chicago on June 12.

My office has been the last room to get any attention whatsoever since we moved into our new home on June 16. That's not to say that all the rooms in my house are done. By no means.

However, my office was the last room full of unopened boxes. Here it sat. Untouched. Ignored. For one, it was just overwhelming to think of all the stuff I would need to unpack and sort and house. The task seemed like a mountain to me.

Secondly, unpacking meant that, yes, I indeed planned on continuing my Mary Kay business in a new town where I only know a handful of people.

From scratch, baby.

Today, the Lord gave me rain. See, it has been absolutely gorgeous each day since move in - with one crazy thunderstorm. Crazy storm aside, the weather has been amazing. Sunny, but not too hot. Yes, humid, but not unbearable. The weather has seen me on the porch, or walking to town, or jogging, or doing WHATEVER outside. Anything, BUT, unpacking my office due to reasons #1 and #2.

Today, however, I asked for rain so that I could finally enter my little square footage of solace and attack the clutter that was overtaking it.

I conquered.

Product? On the shelf.

Desk? Uncluttered.

Empty baskets and containers? In the corner to be used for inventory.

Baskets full of "office stuff"? Will be sorted tomorrow.

Books? On shelves.

Dorothy wig?

Yes. You read that right.

My Dorothy wig, from playing the role of . . . come on, that's just much to easy, is now sitting on my file cabinet wearing a pink cowboy hat.

Everything is in place for me to begin working. Those items which still don't have a definite home will have one by the end of next week. There is nothing, however, barring me from beginning to build my business here - except nerves.

Tomorrow night I'll attend my first meeting here in PA with my brave mother as my guest. We got my red jacket out of storage and hung it up to get out any wrinkles. I emailed my team to tell them that I was ready to re-open by giving each woman from the businesses in the area who assisted me with several details of the move a "welcome" gift bag. I encouraged my team members to do the same with businesses who have provided extra special service towards them.

Emailing both my team and my Director gave me a sense of accountability to get one foot in front of the other and get to work.

It is interesting that I've not been asked by ANYONE here what I do. I think it is assumed that I do not work. Funny, for in Chicago, that was always the first question, "What do you do?" Now, I seem to be offering up the information myself.

So what do I do? Several of you are new readers, so here's me in a nutshell. A coconut sized nutshell:

After acting and teaching acting for a number of years, I have since "shelved" that area for a time. I do desire to dust off my SAG and AFTRA union cards at some point - perhaps when Zane begins Kindergarten or First Grade. As for teaching, directing, and privately coaching young actor's - I'm not sure. What I do know is that I must be doing something creative. Currently, writing is where it's at for me. My dream? To write a weekly column. Somewhere.

To fill in the financial blanks, I am an independent consultant with Mary Kay Cosmetics. With a nice customer base in Chicago, my goal for the remainder of the year is to retain all 100+ customers. My new challenge? Building a customer base here. I currently have a team of 5 women and desire to continue encouraging them in their businesses as well. Some of my closest relationships are with my Mary Kay gals. I'm proud to be a part of a solid company and will make every effort to continue my strong business here in PA.

I write and I sell Mary Kay.

Pink Ink, I like to call it.

What do you do?

John Cougar Mellancamp Would Love Beaver

Many good 'ole small towns in the U.S. of A have a gazebo in the town square. Our's included.

Only Beaver's gazebo isn't a structure from the town's earlier years, nor was its construction planned by the city. Nope. Our gazebo was built specifically for the movie Gung Ho.

See, director Ron Howard needed to do some filming and Beaver provided the perfect quintessential small town. Only it was missing a gazebo.

Not anymore!

So tonight, we ate ice cream on that gazebo, on which Obama also stood while visiting Beaver on the campaign trail, as the smell of funnel cakes, candy apples, cotton candy, and the smoke from carny cigarettes filled the night air.

Today was my most favorite day in Beaver to date. And by "to date", I mean, one week.

It began with a trip to Capo's in New Brighton to see if we could find a vanity for my bedroom. Our bathroom is tight. It would be better for the entire family if Mom could just do her whole beauty thing somewhere other than in the crowded bathroom. I can dig that. Someday, (after we're done paying for our new appliances), we'll begin talking about putting in a second bathroom, but for now, this one is it. So, in the interim, to alleviate the traffic jam in one of the most coveted rooms in the house, we began shopping for a vanity for my bedroom, at which I could Mary Kay myself up the way I like without having to be all speedy. Sometimes a girl just likes to sit and take time on herself, you know?

Capo's is one of those places that reminds me a bit of Sanford and Son, only it's heavy on furniture. There are rows down which one can not even walk, and then there are the shelves stacked with old trinkets. It's pretty incredible. I did not find my vanity (although I've got a good bite on one through Craig's List), but I did get an incredibly modern reading chair for under Harper's loft at just $10 (which was a surprise find in a place filled with pieces from the 1930's).

We then dropped some goods at the local thrift store and checked out the local market - which I LOVED! I can't stand huge supermarkets. My options here are Giant Eagle ($$$), Walmart (I have Walmart issues), Aldi (I'm down with Aldi), and a few other choices. However, today, I decided to check out the small store on 3rd. I adored it. Best find? The Amish chicken. Produce? Not great - but I intend to hit the Farmer's Market for that. The people were nice, the selection was fine and the variety was just enough.

After that stop, we hit the local consignment store, which ROCKS. My mom and I will totally be hitting that place on Saturday after I treat her to a mani and I get a much needed pedi. She's working her tail off at my house right now. She deserves all the specialty coffee drinks and manicures she desires.

Got home, called over to our neighbor, a delightful 6th grader, and took a nice walk with her and the kids to the library. I love our library. While the kids searched the entire place (literally every shelf high and low) for the "mystery book of the week" which was wrapped and tied with ribbons, I got our library cards, and also signed up Harper and Zane for the reading games. Here, they win "book buck's" for reading over the summer. They collect these bucks to redeem for prizes at the "store". The best part? Harper has signed up to read stories to Ishtar, a working black lab. The library offers the opportunity for kids to read to three working dogs. Harper chose to read to Ishtar on two dates. She gets to choose the books and Ishtar will sit at her feet while she reads. Um, how excited do you think Harper is about this?

The remainder of the night was spent at the town carnival, chatting with neighbors (who brought rice crispy treats), and reading to the kids on the porch.

What deserves a post of its very own is the adventure we took in an old house that is up for sale down our block. Victorian. 14 bedrooms. Holes in the porch. Very Boo Radley, or original Nancy Drew. We learned that it is always unlocked so we ventured in with the kids . . . spooky? I should say so. It's a wonder the kids even fell sleep tonight.

Stay tuned . . .

Full of Bliss

One post down.

Second post down.

Third post coming out tomorrow.

Fourth post pending review by my editor.

I could, or rather, AM, getting very used to this.

I try to submit at least two posts every week, which means I've gotten into the daily habit of writing. Writing. Every day. Plus, I currently have a list of ideas for future submissions which should keep me busy for a while.

I am mindful of saving each post on my backup drive, as these are the articles I will ultimately use to snag other writing gigs.

Anybody have a laptop they need to sell. Cheap?

Seriously, seeing my name in print (in lights) and seeing my work published makes me giddy. Give me this and some age-fighting skin care any day.

Once again, for those of you who are slow with math, I'll review the equation one more time:

Writing + Mary Kay = Joyful woman, wife, mother, and friend.

Sounds like bliss.

Remembering that Dream

Remember this post from almost a year ago?

No? That's ok. I do.

Briefly, the post, (and several of the one's that follow), documents the beginning of how I developed an enormous craving for writing. A craving which I have actively pursued. Almost a year since writing that particular post, I am beginning to experience how marrying my creative drive to write, and my business/administrative (and creative side) as a Mary Kay consultant, could be a fabulous union.

I have begun submitting articles here and there.

I have written for a local PR agency.

I am still consistently selling the fabulous products on my shelf.

And now?

I am happy to report that I have been accepted as a contributor for Blissfullydomestic.com, an online magazine.

My first post was "published" just yesterday. I stared at it. First, shocked that it was mine. And second, trying to stop myself from criticizing it and wanting to tweak it. That was the editor's job.

I'll be submitting 2-4 articles a month. There are about 16 of us who write for the Family Bliss section of the magazine, so I could, quite possibly, get a lot of web-time. And the more I get published the better - for I can then turn around and use these articles as a means of getting more writing gigs in the future.

In fact, I think I have a lead for a paid writing gig with an online magazine specifically geared towards mom's living in the Pittsburgh area.

Both of my employment choices are risky.

Writing is subjective. I can work really hard on an article only to have it denied or edited to the point where I don't recognize it.

Mary Kay depends on sales. Straight up. It's fun. But, Mama doesn't just pay the bills by lookin' purty.

However, marry the two and I'm a happy woman, wife, and mother.

If there weren't any risk involved, then it wouldn't be a dream. Right?

Got one of your own? What's your risky dream?

Thrifty Thursday: Sticking with my MK

This post is going to sound like a sales set-up.

Not my intention.

It is no secret that I'm an Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay Cosmetics.

It is a business. Not a hobby. Anyone in direct sales knows they won't be in business for very long if they:

1. Treat it like a hobby, and
2. Keep it a secret

I've been using Mary Kay skin care for just about 10 years. I've been selling Mary Kay skin care for just over a year and a half, and began using their color cosmetics at the time that I became a consultant. I like using the product and I like making money selling the product. It's a win-win.

I will continue to both use and sell the product upon moving to Beaver.

"Ok, Joline, we get it. You dig the pink biz. But why is this post making it into Thrifty Thursday?"

Because with Mary Kay I am thriftier with my spending on beauty products.

My family can attest that I have ALWAYS been into cosmetics and skin care. I used night cream when I was in 7th grade. I love jars, and colors, and yummy whipped creams, and tubes, and brushes, and scrubs. Perhaps having been in professional theater beginning in 6th grade, and thus needing to clean burnt cork, or pancake, or really red lipstick off my face night after night had something to do with my early interest in beauty products.

My fabulous Aunt fed my enthusiasm. Every Christmas I could be sure that she would give me some sort of glamorous makeup kit or set. I remember fondly one brand of shadows, blushes, and cream lip colors by Calvin Kline that sat in stackable trays. I felt like a hot shot. I never knew where she found these! It was like a hidden treasure that only the cool Aunt could find and bestow upon you.

My favorite store used to be the now defunct Cosmetic Center, followed by Ulta 3, and when I was still doing on-camera work, the M.A.C store on East Oak downtown, where I received a SAG discount. I could spend hours in these stories. And cash. Hours and cash.

Regardless of what store, I spent a ton of money on both skin care and cosmetics. I had enough to fill a tackle box or two. Now, in my defense, I was performing regularly in theater, and thus needed product. Not so for commercials where they handled my face for me. Boy, was that nice.

Once I "retired", (a term I use loosely), from performing, I was left with a big box of colors and products that I just couldn't use daily. The colors weren't right for "every day", especially the lip colors. Many eye products got chucked, as I'm a stickler for keeping my cosmetics clean from bacteria - especially eye products - and thus, I just pitched everything that was over two years old.

I would then restock with items that I thought worked for me. Never actually finishing an entire product. My box was refilled with useless, unfinished items. I still had my Mary Kay skin care (Classic Basic), but I would also purchase extra, non-Mary Kay products, for no reason other than that I liked to shop for them. I didn't need them. And so they sat. And sat.

Enter Mary Kay. I now spend less on myself than I did in the past. I get my products half-price, and I make 50% on everything I sell. I don't ever need to run out to the store to peruse the aisles wondering if a color will work for me, or if a product will jive with my skin. I get to try everything in my home before purchasing an item for myself, and after using it for a bit, if I don't like it, I can return it - even if I've used it. The company has been in business for 45 years. They are a debt free company. They enrich the lives of women, like myself, who just need to bring in a bit of extra income. They don't engage in animal testing. They are in 38 world markets. The have an awesome research/development/and medical team that I can personally contact on behalf of myself and my customers. They have staying power.

Even NPR had a recent story about direct sales cosmetic companies and how they are providing a bit more support for women during this economic recession. For in economic times, most women are not willing to give up the products which make them feel good.

I'm one of them. Only, I get them even cheaper!

I have less makeup than I did before becoming a consultant. I have less skincare than I did before becoming a consultant. I spend less money on these items than I did before becoming a consultant.

But, here's where we may differ. See, I really like skin care and cosmetics. So this works for me. Give me some Microdermabrasion and Oil Free Hydrating Gel and I can feel happy for hours. Even in this economy, I will continue to "splurge" on myself. Only now, a splurge means an eye color and cleanser and moisturizer and lip color at wholesale prices. No gas. No parking. No wandering the aisles. No closet full of half-used bottles or tubes of lipsticks that have been used twice only to be handed over to Harper for play make-up. As if she even plays with make-up. Not.

I should add that shopping drives me insane. Upon having children I lost my ability to browse. So, perhaps, this is another reason that I enjoy my business: the perk of not having to shop in an actual store.

Does Mary Kay = Thrifty? Well, it does for me. I'm not going to give up purchasing and using personal care products. So, I may as well get them for a better price and make money at the same time. Mary Kay works for me while I work for Mary Kay. Sounds like a thrifty opportunity to me!

Have you been able to turn a personal interest into a thrifty opportunity during this economic conundrum? (Isn't that a great word?)

Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship. ~Benjamin Franklin

Decisions, Decisions?

This is me.

Well, this was me until I announced to a table of 10 people on my 39th birthday that I would choose not to approach 40 in fear.

It's not that I'm scared about the age 40, as I don't even feel 30, so my fear is not an aging thing. And come on. Let's face it. I have great skin. ;)

The fear that I own is a fear that I've had all my life, boxed up in the basement of my "house".

It's the fear of truly "going for it". The fear of really committing to a goal, attacking that goal, and fighting for that goal. Why? Because of the risk of failing at that goal. Yep. I said it. The very cliche "fear of failure" excuse.

In college, I decided not to go for a theater degree due to this fear.

After college I never really sought a job in video production due to this fear.

The one thing I didn't approach fearfully was marriage to George, and ironically enough, he is the one who is constantly encouraging me not to make decisions based upon fear. Go figure.

I defininitely have that "fear of failure" obstacle hanging out in my yard.

And yet, there is another.

Part of my not pursuing a full-time career in coaching or casting is due to being overwhelmed by this fear and thus being left without the energy to completely engage all my efforts into securing a role in that world. Well, that, and the fact when I think back to all the shows I've directed and classes that I've taught, and children that I've coached, I am overcome with a feeling of exhaustion.

I spent years teaching children and directing theater. I directed and choreographed my first musical at Trinity without knowing what I was doing, being so filled with anxiety and the desire to do an incredible job that I even found myself sleepwalking through the process. Just ask George, who watched me walk into doors and would find me choreographing in the dead of night. I gave those productions my all, while awake and asleep (in fact several bits of choreography literally came from dreams). Interestingly enough, however, these years of directing, were all before I had children, and thus a time in my life when I could throw every fiber into the job. Now, when I think about doing that again, I just feel tuckered out. And, yes, scared that I could never muster it up again.

So, now there are two obstacles invading my property: fear of failure and fatigue.

Now, I'm at another crossroad. I've already conquered the writing fear by pursuing the current part-time writing gig that I have. I feel completely unqualified for the position, but I am learning the ropes as I go.

And this past weekend, Mary Kay stared me right in the face. (Well not Mary Kay in a literal sense. That would be darn right creepy). Now, I'm not one to get all caught up in the excitement and enthusiasm that seeps out of every pore of the Mary Kay world. It's a positive world, that's for sure. But, make no mistake, I'm not in a "pink bubble", nor do I drink "pink kool-aid". I can not be swayed to manufacture emotions in order to be a part of the moment. I'm not much of a follower in that regard. Hmmm . . . Harper and I are seeming more and more alike these days.

I was able to attend Seminar with a very clear head. My goal? To see a bigger picture of the company and to figure out, on my own, without influence from those who seem to know what my goals should be and want to communicate them to me, why I have been shrugging off the idea of becoming a Sales Director. All weekend I was asked, "So, what's your next goal?" to which I would answer, "Team Leader". Which was quickly countered with, "How about becoming a Director?" or "Next year I'd loved to see you here in the Director suit." However, I didn't want anyone to tell me their goals for me. Like Dorothy, (yep, that's an "Oz" reference), who figured it out in the end, I too needed to find my goal, on my own, and claim it for my own. Anything else and the goal wouldn't truly be mine, but rather just an expectation, developed and fashioned by someone else, to which I would feel an obligation to live up to.

And yes, I did come to the conclusion that I would like to be a Sales Director. I came to realize that I am my worst obstacle . . . for no one in my life has ever fed me the idea that I would fail and this feeling of fatigue is a fairly new development over the past few years, and quite frankly, irritating. Nope, both of these obstacles have been taking up residence in my brain for far too long and are utterly useless to me. G'bye.

I was trying figure out last night, after a Color 101 Thank You party that I hosted for consultants and their guests, why I feel compelled to fight for moving up in this company and not with the acting coaching or casting.

The answer came to me in a flash. Or, as George would put it, a "blinding flash of the obvious". I feel pretty strongly that my days on stage are done. I don't say that mournfully. I just mean that if, (and that's a heavy if), I go back to performing, it will definitely be later in life when the kids are older, as right now, in our current phase of life, the time commitment for such a life is counter to what I want for our family. I want to be here. I want to be present. I don't always do a great job on the home front and I lose my patience, and I don't clean the place everyday and I'm addicted to blogging, but I'm here. All day, and after school through dinnertime. For the first time in a few years, I am home for dinner. I may not cook dinner and I may drive everyone in this house completely crazy, but I'm home. And I want to be home. To many, this may sound like a cop out; to give up on a talent and skill that is deeply embedded in the structural make up of who I am. But . . . as I realized last night, I am not giving up that talent and skill. A Ha!

Last night, I stood in front of a room full of women, some customers, some consultants, and realized that I am using those same talents that I perfected for the stage. Public Speaking, Motivation, Communication, Humor, Listening, Timing, Entertainment. I stand up in front of women every week presenting Mary Kay. I use a script (my flipchart) which I very skillfully use as a tool while interjecting my own improvisation through the presentation. I'm committed to the product, so I'm not merely selling, but rather sharing my enthusiasm. I have to be engaging, or the "audience" will tune out, etc. What do I want? Well, I'd love for everyone to purchase! But, I've also found that some women are interested in becoming consultant's themselves, which leads to my being able to help educate, motivate, and celebrate other women!

For years, I've been teaching these skills to youngin's, without having the opportunity to use them for myself! These are the very skills that my soul longs to use everyday! Mary Kay has afforded me the ability to "perform", albeit not a character, but, well, hopefully you get it.

Mary Kay's theme for 2009 is THINK big, WORK smart, SHINE on. Or, THINK, WORK, SHINE, 2009. Catchy.

I accept.

I can either decide not to decide to move onward and upward, thus remaining stuck and stagnant in my fear of failure and fatigue, or I can take a step forward, while using the talents and skills that I have worked to perfect as an actress, only now, as a Sales Director with Mary Kay.

So, I have decided to Think like a Director. I will Work in order to become one. And I will Shine at the end of the Mary Kay year when I've become one.

Geez, just writing it makes me fearful and fatigued.

Doh!

"A person who decides not to decide, has already decided."

Oh Where, Oh Where, Has Customer Service Gone?

So very reminiscent of my experience at Barnes & Noble a few weeks back, I had yet another head boggling return conundrum at TJ Maxx today. Add that to the customer service debacle with Noodles & Company and our mechanic, which I'll explain further in just a minute, and one has to wonder, "Oh where, oh where, has Customer Service gone."

Perhaps my fuming frustration with Barnes & Noble and TJ Maxx, specifically, has surfaced due to the fact that I run a Mary Kay small business backed by a 100% full satisfaction guarantee issued by Corporate, and thus agree take back any product for which the customer isn't pleased, whether used or not. The item ends up getting pitched, as I certainly can not resell it. However, Mary Kay supports this return policy by sending me a replacement of the product. Free of charge. My response to a customer who is not pleased with her product, is to get her the product that she desires or return her money. No questions asked. It's "How can I help you" all the way. Nine times out of ten, the customer is so pleased not to be questioned and glared at, as I've experience from behind a counter, that they decide to do an exchange, rather than a return.

Imagine my surprise when I couldn't return my book at Barnes & Noble . . . which, thankfully, led me to the wonderful world of Borders . . . thus ending that chapter in my retail literary world with "happily ever after". Not so when I brazenly attempted to return a nightgown at TJ Maxx. With a receipt. And tags. Unattached. Unattached tags. The source of conflict.

"I'm not taking this back. You removed the tags."

"But, I have the tags right here."

"Sorry. It's the law. We can't take back lingerie with the tags removed. Health Code issue. We can't resell the item."

"Oh. I didn't know that was a law."

"Well, I know there's a law."

Ok, call me old fashioned, or whatever, but the garment was completely clean, obviously unworn, and was literally just missing an attached tag.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a law. Is this posted in your lingerie section or on your return policy?"

Staring contest. I won!

"I'll return it for you this time, but I'm just going to have to throw it away." Flings item behind her on the shelf.

"Thank you."

Silence.

"You may know this law because you work in retail, but it would help if a sign were posted, or if those purchasing lingerie were told this at the time of purchase."

Silence.

"I really appreciate this."

Silence.

Clearly, she was done with me.

Well, you know me. I called TJ Maxx Corporate. There is no LAW. Ok, yes, I can meet them on the health concerns of refusing to take back undergarments with tags removed as clearly they can not be resold. I'm not disputing the policy. I'm not ignorant. I realize that there are those out there in our great nation who purchase items, wear them once or twice with tags hidden, and then return them. I'm even guilty of purchasing items for auditions, keeping the tag's on them, and then returning them after the audition . . . although I've never done this with, say, a thong. Let's just be clear here. I do understand.

But why not post the policy in the store? Or on the receipt?

Just like in Barnes & Noble, this woman was a snoot. Her tone was harsh, accusatory, and downright condescending. She couldn't be bothered with me, so she just stopped talking to me. So, while I understand that TJ Maxx has a policy about lingerie returns, albeit, a loose, non-posted policy, her approach with me did not reflect any desire to service the customer. She was just pissed at me.

By the way, I looked up the return policy for the store, and here is what I found. No mention of untagged items. Anywhere.

Noodles & Company
Our family loves Noodles & Company, but we will never again visit their location at Old Orchard Mall. Food all over non-carpet swept floors. Tables gone un-bussed for at least 30 minutes (including tables outside). Blank stares from the staff when I asked for the manager as we were surrounded by filthy tables . . . and we were one of only two families in the joint at the time. It was gross. The outer appearance made me wonder what was going on in the kitchen. We stayed, as Harper's teacher was already on her way to meet us, but we'll forgo this location in the future. The manager wouldn't even come out to speak to us.

Corporate is sending me coupons. They heard me.

Our Mechanic
The saga of our automobile repairs continues. Wrap your brain around this. When a mechanic offers to replace your engine, and orders the engine, only to realize that he ordered the WRONG engine, and then says he can get you the right engine, although with 20,000 more miles on it than the first engine, for, and get this, $500 more, although he'll meet you half way since the wrong engine was ordered in the first place, do you really think we should have to pay more? For an older engine? For the fact that the mechanic ordered the WRONG one? Where is the sense in this?

And don't even get me started on Humana.

Thinking Smart

My desire to combine my passions into a work at home structure is becoming a reality! Yesterday, I accepted a Part-Time writing gig with Smarthinking PR, a company run by an Evanston mom who has seen a surge of new business and thus developed the need to bring a writer on board.

I'm that writer!

Um, I'm that WRITER!

Her business is soaring.

My Mary Kay business is soaring.

My desire to write, which has been soaring, has now evolved into an actual position in PR.

I recently received a card from my friend, the always encouraging Trish Harwood (and new Mary Kay Sales Director and car driver) that says,

"SOAR! Life is full of new beginnings -may this year be your most successful Mary Kay Year ever! Happy Anniversary!"

And you know what? For the first time in awhile, I feel like I'm soaring. As I exited my car yesterday for the interview, I felt a familiar tug in my gut. It was the same surge of adrenaline I used to feel when getting out the car to head into O'Connor's Casting for an audition.

I knew at that point that the thrill of writing does indeed mirror the thrill I once had for performing.

I'm loving my Mary Kay business. Check.

I spent yesterday beaming after an incredible meeting with Smarthinking (throughout which my nerves were fluttering between "YES!" and "CRAP! Can I do this?"). Check.

Upon sharing the new gig with George, he asked, "How does this affect your Mary Kay business?"

Wrong question.

The question now is, "How does this affect my other quarter-time job?"

The answer is . . . I'm not ready to come down on a solid answer for that one yet.

Right now, my goal is to book MK appointments, keep current customers happy and satisfied, continue growing my customer base and my team, and CRAM PR . . . I have a few things to learn. Quickly. Like now. Today.

And dear, dear, Melody also knows just how to rev me up for this "new year" in my business life. With a gift card to Starbuck's.

I have such amazing friends.

Friends who encourage me with words.

Friends who encourage me with cards.

Friends who understand my addiction and choose to just give up the fight to sober me up from my caffeine bender by giving me free money with which to buy more coffee.

Thus, enabling me to SOAR even faster!

And she's off . . . well, first she needs an incredible overhaul of her home office.

Does TLC's "Overhaulin'" do home offices?

Girl's Night Out

The Chicago Sky is totally cool.

Harper is totally cool.

Jeanne Martin is totally cool.

Last night was totally cool.

I sound like valley girl approaching her 40's.

Like totally.

Last night was Play it Pink night at the Chicago Sky game. For those of you who have no idea what the Chicago Sky is, (and apparently there are many who haven't a clue that Chicago has a professional WNBA team, as evidenced by many empty seats) you may be interested to know that the they are an incredible WNBA team in OUR city. What fun! The players are amazing. The atmosphere perfect for families. The price just right. How encouraging for little girls (and their mom's) to see female athletes on the court. And then, just when I thought they were cool, we got to see the Chicago Sky wheelchair team play also. I was in awe of the strength that all of these women portrayed on the court.

The Sky partnered with us to raise money for the Mary Kay Charitable Foundation, thus Play it "Pink". There were pockets of us wearing our Play it Pink tee's spread throughout the pavilion. Harper, who doesn't quite have a love of the color pink, did get into the spirit by wearing a pink tee. She sported a Hannah Montana pink t-shirt. Hannah can talk my child into anything.

Scary.

Harper had a blast. Yelling "Defense!" and "Let's Go Sky!" and yes, even doing the Cha-Cha Slide at her seat and in the aisle. A moment that I, um, thwarted, when I attempted to bring her down onto the floor with me and hundreds of others. I, yes, I, should have known better to leave well enough alone. She was doing great until I gently persuaded her to head down to the floor. And while she didn't freak out as we inched our way closer to the cha cha'ing masses, as in the past, she did share that she just couldn't join everyone else. It wasn't for fear of people watching her, as has been her m.o., but rather, because there were just too many people.

I think I understood a little more about her last night.

She was completely enjoying the game, yelling and cheering with everyone else, attempting to get the attention of the Fly Kids, who would come around to throw balls and t-shirts, dancing in the aisle throughout the game and in the line for food, and on the way to the bathroom, and performing the the slide up in her seat with no inhibition. There was no anxiousness about any of this. It wasn't until we attempted to hit the floor that she clammed up. This was completely my misstep.

I got it. Crowds. Masses of people.

I apologized. "That's cool" was her response. The evening continued as if nothing happened. Cool. Totally.

She told me that she had the best time and would like to see another game.

The other cool part about last night was that I had the opportunity to introduce myself to Jeanne Martin. As she ascended the stairs I approached her with "I'm Joline. The writer". It felt a bit like a reunion, although we've never met. Jeanne had shared her heart at Career Conference. I had shared my heart through this blog. And thus, it is as if we'd already met, as opposed to a mere business introduction between a Red Jacket and Sales Director extraordinaire. It felt more familiar than that. She was just as warm in person as I expected and enthusiastically introduced me to her husband as "the one who writes the blog". I was very flattered. He shared that he really enjoys my writing and then said, "Keep up with this Mary Kay thing. It is really special."

Good God. Do I now have to write a blog about how he motivated me, also? What is it with these people?

No. I think that would border on "blog stalking".

Let me just say once again, that God keeps revealing the same message to me through both the Holy Spirit's nudgings and people.

Writing and Mary Kay.

It's the perfect recipe for me.

My year anniversary with Mary Kay is June 12. As George and I agreed when I began, I would try this Mary Kay gig for one year and then reassess whether I would continue. When I began, I only wanted to sell product - not develop a team. A year later, I have three team members, am considered a Star Recruiter and am working towards becoming a Team Leader. I am headed to seminar in July. I am consistently selling an average of $300 a week and am bringing in $3-500 every month as was the goal. I'm convinced. Once I reach Team Leader I have the possibility of working towards the car and directorship. This is where I stop to ponder. Do I want that? Do I really want to make this a solid career?

Yes.

As long as I can write also.

Can't leave a step out of the recipe, right? All ingredients are important and play a role in the successful outcome of the baked good. And I'm baking me up a batch of scrumptious work at home pie. Thanks, Waitress. (Reference is not mean to confuse the reader. I'm not pregnant. Nor unhappily married. I simply like pie.)

Considering that I didn't even originally want what I have now, I guess I should be open to the next step.

So, Happy Anniversary to me. Moving onward and upward.

Pink Ink

I'm going to assume that it's ok to copy this comment made on my site by Jeanie Martin, Executive Senior Sales Director and #1 Mary Sales Director in Illinois, (with whom I held a bit of a grudge based upon her convicting words about the state of my life during a speech she gave at Career Conference), here, into this new post.

That was a really long winded, run on sentence way of sharing that she responded to Untitled Novel.

Many readers don't necessarily go back to read older posts, and thus I wanted to insure that those of you who are all up in my business (in an "I have faithful readers!" kind of way), would get to read the comment she left in response to this particular post. I actually sent her a link to it, so that she could read, firsthand, the impact she had on me on that Saturday in April.

If you recall, (or go back and read the post if you don't), her words infuriated me. Over the next few days following the conference, my repulsion, (I thought her words were trite and useless - sorry Jeanie), turned to confusion. Confusion then led to an emotional paralytic state. The state of numbness then then doubled-back and sent a surge of motivation through me, the likes of which I've not felt since the "A-ha" moments of 1989, when God told me to go out to lunch with George already, 1997, when I left a full-time job to act, 1999 when I felt called to begin a family, and 2005 when I knew it was time to leave teaching acting classes in favor of exclusively private coaching.

Not even coffee can jolt my system as this event did. Well, coffee does still give me a pleasurable jolt, but not a surprise jolt. I'm pretty used to its effects now. Especially since I'm an addict.

I won't rehash that post. Here is her response:

Well, first of all, I've never been on a blog. Second, I've never left a comment. Third, I'd have loved to have you in my English class when I taught high school. Fourth, I want an autographed copy when the book is published. Fifth, I was captivated by your story because you were writing from your heart, what was on your heart and I felt like I was sneaking a peek into what an incredible family you have. Thank you for all you shared..I hope you know that there are days when your words will help me continue when my dreams seem way out there. Love your life and live it out loud! The Jeanie that may have started it all? :)

I completely forgot that she used to be an English teacher. How amazing is that? The little Mary Kay peddlin' writer getting props from the #1 Director and former ENGLISH teacher? Do I really need any more encouragement?

Yes.

Honestly, I really do think there is something to this Writing and Mary Kay dream.

It's right around the corner.

Oh, and I'm buying myself the book pictured above for all my writing ideas.

That, and some Mary Kay After Sun Replenishing Gel to heal the sunburn I got while playing softball yesterday, the likes of which my sister would have been proud. I did impress my softball playin' daughter with my hits, slides, and "the roll".

I tend to get a bit competitive.

Now, if only I could redirect that competitive fire into something for which I have a passion.

Hmmm. What would that be?

Untitled Novel

"Tearful Dinner"
"Dreaming Isn't Hokey"
"I Love You So Much It Hurts"
"From Merely Sustaining and Maintaining to Soaring"
"Where Do I Go From Here When God Plants Ideas In My Head"

All worthy titles to describe what I experienced today. All of them swirling around my head at the same time, bumping into each other and becoming intertwined.

Yeah. No kidding. That's a lot to process.
And believe it or not, I'm not the one in the family with ADHD.

What happened today to precipitate this post?

The knowledge and relief and excitement that after several years of feeling as if I've been merely hanging on, making every desperate attempt to maintain daily life, (while keeping up the appearance of wellness, with the occasional complete meltdown witnessed only by a few) it is now time for me to explore some personal dreams that I have.

My least favorite speech at Mary Kay's Career Conference was by the number 1 Sales Director in Illinois, Jeanie Martin. She spoke about the importance of allowing ourselves to dream, acknowledging our dreams, visualizing our dreams, and going after our dreams. She even held a "Dream Book" in her arms while speaking. Come on! Throughout her speech I kept a strong, emotionless face. No notes were taken. I gave her no non-verbal head nods of agreement. I even left before she was done to go to the bathroom. What a waste of my time.

Dribble. Fluff. Sap.

My personal reaction to Jeanie has gnawed away at me every day since hearing her speak last Saturday.

I have been consumed with telling others how disinterested I was with what she had to say.

I recall another time in my life where I was consumed with telling others how disinterested I was with something. Or someone.

About 18 years ago, I told my friends, my family, anyone who would ask, and even people who didn't ask, how very disinterested I was in dating a man named George Atkins. I told them this hourly and daily. I told them this when we weren't even on the subject. I told them this out of the blue. My mom put it best, "For not liking someone, you sure do talk about him alot."

Good thing I ended up not believing my own lie. Right?

Today, I realized that the reason I was so very turned off by Jeanie's speech was because I haven't had any dreams for quite some time.

Well, that's not exactly true. Actually I have had dreams, but they've been a buried underneath the mountains of fear and insecurity. Sure, I've had to make some sacrifices and put some personal desires on hold over the last few years and even more so over the past year for the sake of my family, but even that "sacrifice" has a tiny bit of excuse included in the clever "Supermom" wrapping.

Today, I realized that I do indeed have dreams. Today, I allowed myself to voice them at the dinner table. Dreams that I tearfully told my family I didn't think I could possibly accomplish. Dreams that seem completely unattainable. Dreams that sound ridiculous when actually verbalized out loud. Dreams that I "joke" about, when inside, I really do want them to be. Dreams that recently someone reading my blog for the first time hinted that I should pray about developing.

Let me set the table here: I cooked two new recipes tonight. While I cooked Harper read to Zane. It was the most precious, gentle, serene evening. We sat down to eat. Zane reminded us to pray. Harper asked to open the prayer. They ate EVERYTHING. That's a dream come true. But, that's not the one I'm talking about. Who writes an entire post about the fact that their kids ate dinner and now all is right with her spirit? Anyway . . . Harper told me that the two recipes were keepers. Zane actually ate beans. Nope, that wasn't the dream either.

Wait for it.

It was if God was setting the perfect scene on my behalf to serve as the catalyst to get me to crack (in a good way). And I didn't see it coming. Caught up in the beauty and comfort and trust I felt for my family sitting around that table I suddenly found myself blurting out, "Do you think having dreams is silly?" George said "No". Emphatically.

So, out it came. Quickly, with no thought, no preparation, no control. "I think I have a new dream. If I could do anything, I think I would be a Writer and Mary Kay Consultant."

There, I'd said it.

Then, I started crying. Not the heavy, lead filled tears of these past two year, but more like pure water. Light. Refreshing. Why? Because George said, "Jo, you could totally do that. You've done so many things over the years, most of which have been to help sustain this family, but it's been a while [since my acting days] since you've really done anything [in terms of a profession] to further yourself."

It's not that I don't like teaching children's music, and yet my heart yearns to take guitar lessons in order to play with the worship band, perhaps to even learn how to jot down the songs that come to my head. The one's that end up disappearing because I don't know how to make them reality.

It's not that I don't like coaching, and yet I've lost the "fire" I once had for preparing someone for a role, feeling almost as if I give away a little piece of my creativity every time I do so.

One might think I would want to return to performing, and yet, I haven't the desire to be away from my family for the amount of time performing takes. Writing, however, takes the creative rush I feel inside and releases it, all the while fueling me with the same fulfillment I used to feel from being on stage, only now, I'm home, with those who are my true inspiration.

Writing has become a joy, a habit, a desire, a need, a have to, a want to, a must do, an offering, a gesture, a release, a passion, a relief, a discipline. But, a . . . dream? How could I possibly make that a reality? It just seems too big. Bigger than me. Who am I to think I could actually be a Writer?

Through tears, I asked George if I could really do it. Write, for actual paychecks, and continuing my new found love for my Mary Kay business by moving upward within the company.

Zane answered the question before George did.

"Yes, Mommy" he said looking me right in the eye, "You can do that. Be happy. Don't cry."

I tried to tell him that I wasn't sad - just the opposite, and that I was actually feeling such an enormous amount of happiness due to my ability to admit that I have a dream and because the love I felt around the dinner table at that moment was so very overwhelming, but he's three.

Harper tried to explain that sometimes when grown ups are happy they cry.
Then she shared that she had a dream to become a better reader. And to become a Veterinarian.

Zane shared that he had a dream to play with toys.

George just sat and watched the scene with a contented look that conveyed that right there, at that moment, he was living his dream. He gave me quite the pep talk. He can see it. I love that.

There was a group hug, initiated by Harper, talk of a plan (perhaps phasing out the music classes once Zane "graduates" SLC), a lot of kissing, and a flood of excitement over a new sense of purpose.

I'm sure this isn't the end of this post. Well, it may be the end in a literal sense, as I'm about to stop typing, but not so in terms of my processing and exploring ways to move in the direction of my . . . it's still so hard to say . . . Dream.

My Dream is to work at home. My Dream is to be a Writer and, at this point in time, a Team Leader in Mary Kay. My Dream is to wake in the morning, get everyone off to where ever they need to be and to then get to work on writing projects for which I have been hired to complete. My Dream is to write, hold Mary Kay appointments and train new consultants on my team. My Dream is to be available for my family. To work while they are in school. To be present when they are home. To cook meals with them. To gather around the dinner table and recount the day. Yes, to sacrifice for them, and yet, not at the expense of losing my ability to Dream for myself.

Yeah, I need to tighten that up a bit, but give me time.

And that's it. It's time to move forward.

My family has agreed to help me create a Dream/Vision poster to help encourage me. I'm rereading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott and investigating what I do next, 'cause I don't have a clue.

So, what would YOU title my new novel?

Test Subject

I received a free skin care sample by L'oreal today, and decided that if I truly want to know more about the competition out there, I should try it. So I did.

Let me preface this by saying that prior to becoming a Mary Kay customer, I was a skin care junkie. Upon opening my medicine cabinet one would find a wide assortment of cleansers, added benefits, moisturizers and the like. I kept and used every single sample that I received from cosmetic counters, and while I tried to use them before purchasing anything new, I now realize that this wasn't always the case - as evidenced by the amount of stuff I chucked when I became a Mary Kay consultant - not a requirement, mind you, but a personal decision. Some of the products were a few years old (I recall some microdermabrasion by Origins from 2005 . . . it was now disgusting) and should have been pitched earlier.

So, back to the stuff I tried. It's called Skin Genesis (a multi-layer cell strengthening product with Pro-Xylane and Hyaluronic Spheres - ?????). It won some "break though" award in Allure Magazine. It's similar to that of Mary Kay's Day and Night Solutions which are applied prior to moisturizer, offering additional age fighting benefits. It must be stressed that these are age fighting products with ingredients that will not be found in basic skin care, and thus they are priced a bit higher.

I found the product very slippery and it reeked of alcohol. It took a while to actually settle into my skin. My skin was soaked for a few minutes and I wasn't sure when I could apply the moisturizer, as the serum didn't seem to be drying.

I read the ingredients and found that it included added fragrance. Even now, with my Mary Kay moisturizer on top, I can smell the frangrance and my skin feels very taut - not a good taut, but rather a "masky" taut.

I don't know how much this product costs, but as with Mary Kay, this product is part of an age frighting system which includes a cleanser, the skin genesis step, and moisturizer. I do find that there does seem to be a "second" step with age fighting systems, so it is indeed similar to what we offer with our Miracle Set, although I must say, as objectively as I can, that I appreciate that our system does not have added fragrances and is non-comedogenic - Skin Genesis does not state this to be true.

According to PETA, L'oreal also continues to test on animals.

As does Olay.

My face is still sticky.

We may be all pink, and Texasy, and "old school", but I'll hang with the Mary Kay girls.

Toying with . . .

redoing the household budget . . . again.

going down to one car.

rearranging my teaching schedule so that I can volunteer more frequently in Harper's classroom.

working towards having Mary Kay, (well, not literally THE Mary Kay, but rather the business) pay off our debt.

how I'm going to purchase an amp so that I can actually use my new pink electric guitar.

when I can invest in guitar lessons for myself.

getting the taxes done so I can look forward to that big 'ole check that President Bush is sending our way. Um, no, we won't be running out to buy a new TV with it.

the idea that the Clinton's could possibly get 4 more years in the White House. Say it isn't so.

whether the cost of living in Chicago is really too much for us.

"Meet the Focalin's" as the title for a new movie describing our journey into the world of ADHD medication.

selling Harper's med's to pay bills.

toying with thoughts.

So Why the Pink Biz?

While nobody has actually come right out and asked me this question, I know that many a family/friend have wondered about this new venture. So let me address a few questions:

Are you still coaching actors?

Are you still teaching parent/child music?

Can you really make money selling Mary Kay?

I first began selling Mary Kay because I needed to bring in an extra couple hundred dollars a month. I was already using the product, and have always been into skin care and cosmetics. So, for those reasons alone, the business was a good match. I knew that I needed to find part time work that would allow me to stay home with my kids, rather than leaving them with a sitter after school on a daily basis. One of my dreams, and this could still happen one day, would be to stay home and write all day - but to date, noone has come forward to say, "Hey! Here's $50. Blog today!"

Due to some shifts in our family life, and namely the conviction that I was spending the best hours of my children's day (outside of school) away from them while I coached other children for auditions, I knew that I needed to make a change. So, to answer question number one:

No, coaching is not my mainstay any longer. In all honesty, I have retained 5 clients. Five out of 20 or so. But, that is all.

To answer question number two: I am still teaching parent/child music classes at one location, and thanks to Mary Kay, will be adding a pink electric guitar sound to the mix.

The interesting part of all of this is how surprised I am by the way Mary Kay has captured my interest and my heart. It is truely a business designed to empower women. Mary Kay empowers us to build personal businesses, but not with a "Good luck with all that" approach. They provide the tools we need to succeed: great products, training, conferences, encouragement, friendships, ideas, recognition. And yet, ultimately, I can either CHOOSE to work or CHOOSE not to work. I don't have to attend trainings. I don't have to educate myself on the products. I don't have to call my customers for follow up or contact potential new customers for appointments.

The choice is mine.

I must realize, however, that if I don't show up for work, nothing gets done.
I have noone else to blame. I must take ownership. I haven't felt this way since leaving the world of auditioning and performing, where I had to put forth my best effort to get that next job. Noone could get the gig for me then. The same is true here. I am personally responsible.

I think all women need to experience an entrepreneurial venture. I hear so many say, "Oh, I could never do that." It's so easy to put oneself down, isn't it?
Harper wrote me a card the other day which read, "Mary Kay rocks and it believes. It's a party, y'all!" Does she see that Mom is feeling motivated in this new venture and has begun to experience a bit of a resurge of energy by tackling something new? Or does she merely see that Mom is now home after school, cooks creative meals, eats dinner with the family and runs a great "Bedtime Cafe" before bed, complete with snacks and books? What is it about Mary Kay that "rocks" in my daugher's opinion? Honestly, I think it's that Mom is HERE!

So, while I began this business with the hopes of just making a few extra hundred a month, and yes, I have made money by just selling the product (question number 3), I have now turned a corner and am committed to embracing this business further. I want to build a team. I want to train others. I want to continue building a business that I run on my schedule, in my home, with my family by my side.

Mary Kay is so much more than just skin care and cosmetics. I now see this after my 6month run. And while it is not rocket science, don't be fooled by the pink. It does take an effort to run this business.

And what of any value doesn't take effort?