Friday, January 21, 2011

On the Eve of Having a 10 Year Old

I look forward to it every year.

And then I tear up.

See, it took me 10 years of marriage before God laid it upon my heart to have children.

The day I finally told George I was ready, by sharing with him that I really liked the diaper pack made my Eagle Creek, he was shocked.  And elated.

And then came Harper.

Recently, I interviewed her for PittsburghMom.  I'm not one of those Moms who does this every year or keeps track of their answers when I do remember to interview my kids.  This, year, however, I did remember to climb up in her loft bed to interview her.  I had a post due - Harper would serve as my topic.

The answer to one question in particular really got my attention and affirmed what God had been telling me lately.  Harper shared that her favorite thing to do with me, is sit in her bed at night to talk.

We used to do this all the time when she was younger, but this special time has been happening less and less due to my schedule.  However, since beginning a 30 day organizational challenge taught by Chalene Johnson (who I consider to be a fantastic business coach), I have made enormous changes to how I balance working from home AND turning the work OFF during Harper's bedtime.

Last night, as we sat chatting, I was able to share with her a story that I had never told anyone.  Even George.  It was regarding something that happened to me as a very young Christian (13 or 14) that I truly believe was a physical, visual sign from God that He loved me and that He was indeed real.

"Wow.  That is really cool.  And a little creepy" was her response.

I also shared with her how I wasn't particularly kind when I was a 4th grader like her.  In fact, I could be a bit of a snob.  In 5th grade, I'm ashamed (and forgiven) to say that I was awful to a girl in my class for the better part of the whole year, only to learn later on that her father was physically abusive to her.

Ouch.  Such guilt.

We talked about God's forgiveness - me and my girl, and she thanked me for sharing with her.

"You need to tell me this stuff more often.  'Cause I'm not like you were in 4th grade."

No, Harper, you aren't.

You are kind.  You are funny.  You are sad when people are sad.  You are positive.  You are dramatic (yes, honey, you are - sorry - you have my blood).  You are brave.  You are creative.  You also get nervous some times - but not like you used to - remember those days?

I love you, baby girl.

Yes, I said it.  BABY girl.  You were the first baby I ever had, and the picture above is my absolute favorite of you during your first week out of the womb.

I'll see you on your bed tonight, OK?

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