Zane Atkins: Political Analyst

It's the stuff of which tabloid stories are made.

While driving to church on Sunday morning, I was enjoying the comfort of my new and improved Forester. Thanks to my mechanic and the "trans guys" ;).

Zane was having a discussion about how snowmen would melt in heat, because he is that sharp.

And Harper, upon listening to a news report over the radio, reported enthusiastically that the broadcaster had just announced how Obama had won the election for President.

"Mom! Did you hear that? Obama won the election!"

"The election is in November. I think they were just discussing Obama and the election."

And then Zane chimed in with his unique form of political satire.

"Are you talking about the Obamanable Snowman? That's scary."

And just what are your trying to say, Zane?

Are you using your silly wit to mock my decision to move to the other side for this election?

Do you think this is funny? Wipe that smirk off your face!

Come on boy! Think of your father!!!!!!!

You know your father has yet to lose his fear of Bigfoot, instilled in him by "In Search Of", hosted by the great Leonard Nemoy. The two of you just watched a show about Bigfoot on the Discovery Channel, and yet you throw it back in his face. Goodness, son! Your big, strong Daddy still sleeps with blankets covering his nose; his eyes peeking out in order to keep watch should Bigfoot set up camp in our back yard.

And while Dad may still believe that Bigfoot exists and that he and the Abominable Snowman are one in the same, or, at the very least, closely related, don't be fooled into thinking that your juvenile scare tactics will work at changing our minds.

Mommy and Daddy will exercise our right to vote with responsibility, each of us making an informed choice based upon educating ourselves about the candidates, rather than succumbing to the influence of of tabloid-like lies. We won't vote blindly.

Your comment showed a real insensitivity towards Obama. And your Dad's fear.

Perhaps there's a spot for you at The New Yorker .

No more political shenanigan's.

Deal?