2011 Highlights and 2012 CHANGES!

2011 was sweet.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I am not a New Year Resolution maker. Simply sitting down and writing down a list of goals does not a finished goal make. I believe, or rather, have been retrained to understand, that goals must flow from priorities. It's very hard to set goals when you have no idea of your driving purpose.

I've been fortunate to have a number of mentors in my life. Yes, Chalene Johnson is one. But there is also Linda Anderson, creator of Mom to Mom ministries. And the prayer partner I've had since 1992, minus the first 2 years we have lived here in Beaver (we are once again back at it, thankfully). I have "people" and I am continually trying to learn and grow - with them at my side. Going at anything alone is counter-productive. So I choose to be teachable. Not always easy or comfortable. But, hey, I'm in my 40's - I'm really not interested in the shallow.

My latest epiphany happened today. In a quiet house. No music. No TV. No other people present. Just me. And God.

I had a 2x4 moment.

The Beachbody journey that I began in 2010 grew out of a need to be well. I was, for lack of a better word, blah. My husband was struggling with depression. My body was becoming the 40 year old I never wanted to be, my emotions were haywire, and I was a lazy, hazy mess. I chose God and fitness to get me out of my funk.

2011 brought the realization that Beachbody was becoming a true business. There was still so much to learn, and through the process I realized that I hadn't even scratched the surface of what this business could bring me, my family, and my customers.

I decided to sit in on a cyber course Chalene Johnson was teaching. A 30 day course which I thought would be strictly about organization. I was wrong. The course actually taught me that I was approaching my goals a$$ backwards.

I wrote a purpose statement. Clarified my priorities. And only THEN sat down to brain-dump some goals. Out of the list - the following were accomplished:

• Earn the Beachbody Success Club trip to Atlantis for me and George, so we could celebrate 20 years of marriage on our FIRST trip alone since Harper was born.
• Earn a specific monthly income with Beachbody.
• Close another 3-year old home-based business. "If you chase two rabbits, one will escape."
• Return to theater: Lost in Yonkers and Pump (for which I won Best Actress - which WASN'T on the goal list - a perk).
• Pay off half our debt. 
• Complete P90X.
• Start a devotional blog, Daily Fast Fuel, with other writers.
• Build a deck in the backyard.

Which brings us to today. Just days away from 2012.

So, what's on the docket?

Well, first of all, I'm dumping one of my blogs. 

Cuppa Fit, will be making its exit.

Why? This year, as I built my Beachbody business, I increased my time on my Fit With Jo Facebook page, Twitter, and You Tube. 

In that process, good 'ole Cuppa Jo suffered. This blog. And, I miss it. Greatly.

This year also taught me that fitness isn't just about losing weight, inches, getting lean and cut, and being able to do a zillion push-ups in a month. If anything, the work I began in January, taught me that fitness is wholistic. It covers all areas of my life: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. Cuppa Jo is truly where I work all that out. It's the coffee shop where I sit with friends, chatting away about everything. It's where I process. Linger. Learn. Grow. I've been a coffeehouse girl since 1992. As I look back on this year, I barely visited my own shop.

If I truly want to encourage YOU to a life of whole fitness, (and I do) then merely having a blog where I talk about my workouts, ain't gonna cut it. 

Simply talking with you on Facebook about exercise and nutrition isn't going to move either of us forward.

It's time to expand the content to include LIFE.

2012's theme is hereby announced!

Total Fitness: It's Not Just Physical

The Beans Spillith Over

I began blogging when Harper was 3 months old, which also happened to be during the time in my life when I was still auditioning quite regularly for commercials.

A few times a week I would traipse downtown to David O'Connor Casting, circle the area to find a parking place, sit in the waiting room with the other hopefuls, perform a glorious audition lasting, oh, say, 5 minutes, get back in my car, and trek the hour (with traffic) home again. As I was being called in with some regularity, I began a blog to share with my family the details about my auditions: how I felt, what I wore, whether I would change my delivery, the result, etc. Never once did I hesitate about what I wrote, or censor my words.

One day, however, as I was exiting the casting office after an audition, I was I stopped cold in my tracks by David O'Connor himself as he announced with a grin, "Joline, I really enjoy The Audition Chronicles."

It took a moment to register what he had just said, but once I realized that he was referring to my blog (which was indeed called The Audition Chronicles) my insides turned to jello. WHAT???!!! David O'Connor had read my blog. David O'Connor, one of the biggest casting director's in Chicago had read my blog. Any flattery I may have felt disappeared quickly as my mind raced to weigh the situation. At the very center of my racing thoughts one stood out: had I written anything negative about David himself?

It was on this day that I was hit square in the face with the reality that blogs are public. Very public.

I mumbled some incomprehensible response about my parents living out of town and my wanting to give them the details of all my auditions, blah, blah, blah, panic, panic, panic. I stumbled. I muttered. I think I may have spit or drooled during this exchange. Regardless, I came out looking like a buffoon.

I called George immediately and told him to read through posts to see if I had ever said anything derogatory about David himself. You know how temperamental actors can be: blaming a bad audition on the casting director. (Not that I'd ever had a bad audition . . .) He assured me that all was OK. But, I was quite flustered and sure that I would never be called into his office for an audition again. I also wondered how he had found my blog. And concluded that it must have been due to googling either the name of the casting office, David O'Connor Casting, or, (as if the next option was even a remote possibility), me.

My next post detailed what had transpired and included a "hello" to David himself.

I never heard another word. And it wasn't the end of my career. Catastrophe averted.

Since that experience, I have continued blogging and have often struggled with the question of when and when not to "spill the beans", so to speak, or, rather, so to "write" when blogging about specific situations that I encounter as I stroll through life.

I am pretty vulnerable. To be sure. And yet, there are several experiences which I choose to keep off the public airway that is the Internet. I don't bare it all. I'm not a blogging pole dancer.
And yet there are those experiences which I share with complete freedom and candor of opinion.

The debate over spilling the beans in a blog certainly arises when one, like David O'Connor, actually locates a blog in which he is mentioned.

Take today.

In this case let's say that the someone who has located my blog is, oh, I don't know, let's go with, MY MECHANIC. And the mechanic's "trans guys".

Google is a really good search engine.

George talked with the owner. He requested that we remove any reference to his shop or the "trans guys". George talked with me. We came the conclusion that since we are working really hard at actually reconciling our relationship with our mechanic, I would agree to remove all references to the actual companies involved. Not the posts, mind you.

Did I struggle with this decision?

Um, yeah.

For the readers that have been following our auto drama, I hope that you can see the shift I have begun to take from my earlier posts which communicate sheer anger and wrath, to my most recent attempt, however feeble, at forgiveness and reconciliation. This is where I struggled over the request that I edit my posts. As, what I have tried to convey with my most recent post was how we are working very hard at repairing and reconciling with this business. After all, they did reimburse us for the taxi and the tow, loaned us a courtesy car, honored their warranty, and credited us back the entire amount for the transmission until which time the work is done and we deem it sufficient. So, yes, they have worked with us. I see this. I am thankful for this. I can not, however, continue to mention them in my blog.

Putting aside all the frustration I've felt towards them, I must say that I doubt other businesses would give us the personal attention they have. In terms of trying to do the right thing by us (based upon their actions that I've mentioned above) they are striving to be above board.

And yet, the situation has been completely inexcusable and unacceptable. Thus, I still struggle with having to edit what I have written - even though I understand that the goal is reconciliation. Yeah, some of you would say, "The goal is getting your car back! What about that!" That is the earthly goal. The bigger goal is to "Treat others as you would want to be treated", which is a much harder goal to reach due to all the pride and personal effort I have wrapped up in my little blogging world.

For this reason, I have agreed to remove all references to the parties involved. Don't think for a moment that I am totally sold out on this or that I am just trying to be all high and mighty and righteous with my decision. For honestly, it sucks a little.

I'm just trying to do my part in cleaning up the mess of spilled beans.

One by one by one . . .

Lighten Up, Already!

Okay, apparently, my recent posts have communicated that I am constantly in a pattern of entertaining deep and heavy thoughts.

Lots of rantings about poor customer service. (Do you blame me?)

Introspective musings about failure, fatigue, dreams, goals, career changes, my husband getting hit on at a neighborhood block party . . . oh, wait. I didn't actually write about that incident. Oops. Just walk away and forget you ever read that. Move along. Nothing to see here.

So, to put all of you at ease, let me proclaim in this post that I'm doing fine. I like to write. I like to write honestly about the events in my life that leave an impact on who I am and who I desire to be. All is good. Writing is free life coaching. I simply take comfort in working out my "stuff" via writing.

Lest you wonder whether I've waded too deeply into writing therapy, let me share that I also took comfort last night when Zane reported that our neighborhood is safe from jugglers.

You know. Jugglers. Those bad people who break into homes and steal personal belongings from unsuspecting victims.

Yes, jugglers. Good to know that we're fighting back against them with the help of the Skokie Police Department. (Wiping forehead in relief.)

Zane went on to share that he had seen a flyer depicting a juggler in a circle with a line through it while on a walk with Daddy, Harper, and Scout last evening. These flyers were being distributed throughout the neighborhood.

Our little corner of the world will be a safer one as we rally together keeping a watchful eye out for those evil jugglers who hide behind a ruse of tossing scarves, balls, pins, and flaming objects into the air as part of their plan to take us for all we've got.

Circus freaks.

"Second String" Player Steals Home!

My husband rocks.

Who else would read my post and send me an email reminding me of a little girl, with pipes, who once turned a "second" into a moment in the spotlight? I mean, I'd expect to hear this from my mother, who to this day, brings up my gutsy "All About Eve" moment of 1979, but my husband? Out of which bag of conversations we had eons ago did he pull this out?

I can tell you one thing.

That man deserves some lovin'.

Annie was THE musical for "little girls" in the late '70's and '80's. I was one of those obsessed Annie fans, and still regret not getting to see the original Annie with Andrea McArdle on Broadway, having to settle for Shelley Bruce in the title role. Not even Sarah Jessica Parker! But, she was fine. But Andrea was THE Annie. As a kid, I loved every piece of the show that focused on Annie and the orphans, and zoned out during all the songs I found unimportant in my 10 year old world, like Easy Street, and We'd Like To Thank You Herbert Hoover. Oh, how our tastes change. I'd return to the stage to take a stab at the role of Miss Hannigan if it were offered to me and I didn't need to audition.

Our Elementary School, dear old Edsall Park, was one of those schools that took on the goal of doing a musical in concert version of Annie. The Annie dress was even being sold at JC Penney, so all the school needed to do was find our Annie, hire some orphans, and put on a show. There were 5 of us who auditioned for the title role and I can remember every face, and all their names sans one. There's probably something behind that.

I even remember my audition and the choice I made to sing Tomorrow with a more upbeat quality, as in my mind, the song was about hope.

When I exited the audition, one gal said to me, (paraphrase), "You did that wrong. In the musical, which I saw on Broadway, Annie stands still next to her dog for the whole song. She's sad." We went into a debate about what the song meant and why I chose to take a different direction. After all, isn't Annie saying, "The sun WILL come out tomorrow?" Whatever. Talk to the hand.

I didn't get the part.

The double casting of Annie went to two other girls who were apparently chosen because they had lighter hair and therefore looked more like Annie. Or so I was told by the director.

Good night woman! Ever heard of a wig?

Flash forward to dress rehearsal. One of the Annie's, (the one whose name I can't recall), who looked soooooo much like role (not), couldn't project past the first row. I'm not exaggerating here. There was no amplification, and no one could hear her singing. This was definitely no McArdle. This was a "Sing out Louise!" moment if ever there was one.

I was pulled aside.

Lame music teacher: Joline, would you mind standing directly behind xxx and sing "Tomorrow" with her?

Me: During the show?

Lame music teacher: Yes, during the show. Just make sure you stand directly behind her.

Me: Sure.

As if.

On the night of the show, I did what I was told. I stood directly behind this miscast Annie and began to sing the song in all my belted glory. I stood directly behind her.

And then I didn't.

I took a step to the side. Am I to be blamed for being a hair off from standing directly behind her? Or two or three hairs? Ten? Ok, it was intentional. Pre-meditated and calculated. I admit it.

But, give me a break! This wasn't a Hollywood musical of time gone by where the non-singing actor's voices were dubbed. This was an elementary school. A place of learning and growth. Perhaps I was supposed to learn how to be gracious in defeat. And I probably could have, had I not been asked to actually SING THE SOLO THAT I HAD BEEN DENIED. And invisibly, at that.

I did feel a twinge of guilt when Annie's parents played back their daughter's "solo" on their handheld tape recorder.

But honestly, I don't think they would have heard her regardless of whether I was standing directly behind her, a few steps to right, or crooning from inside a stall in the girls bathroom.

And this is what my husband wanted me to remember after reading my last post.

"I read it . . . and I understand . . .and sometimes you just have to step out from behind the kid and sing your heart out. You have to take a risk."

I'm encouraged. I still have alot of "firsts" in me.

And I'm cool with hanging in the wings until my name is called in the writing world. And I will continue to seek out avenues to broaden my reader base. But don't dare ask me to stand directly behind someone who will then take the credit for the "songs" I belt out on paper.

Especially if that person goes by the name of Annie.

Hey! Wait up!

This is kind of how I feel.

As if I'm always right behind the winners, yelling, "Wait! I can do that, too!"

As a child, I competed in gymnastics. I never placed in the individual all around until the meets that came after the qualifying meets for the BIG competitions. I'm not at all disappointed in my performance at the meet where I took 3rd all around and 1st on bars, and 3rd on, what was it? Beam? Vault? I don't know . . . I was 10, I think. But, even then, I knew that at this particular meet, my accomplishments were kind of, sort of, second best, as placing in the all around at this point didn't qualify me for the Regional meet or whatever it was called. I needed to clinch a spot for that meet months earlier. And hadn't. I'd missed that opportunity.

I remember my coach telling me that I had a choice. I could either compete in the Regional in order to help the team competition, but couldn't be considered for the all around, OR I could opt out of Regionals altogether in order to re-compete in a secondary meet where I might actually win the all around. This is what I chose. I chose it because I knew I would be compteting against other "second" gymnasts and that out of those "seconds" I could be FIRST. I could win the individual all around.

AND I WANTED TO MEDAL! AND I WANTED TO STAND ON THE PODIUM!

And I got one (and two huge ribbons). And I stood on the podium. But, I didn't advance any farther.

And looking back, I'm ok with this. I like eating junk food and having boobs.

However, I see this as a recurring pattern in my life.

I'm a pretty good actress. And yet, while acting professionally, I always had this lingering feeling in my gut about being just a step behind the frontrunner's in the city, even though I too had the goods to pull out a solid performance. That feeling nagged at me whenever I entered the casting director's office and overshadowed the truth that I had indeed been called in and selected for an audition. A feat in and of itself. Even so, I felt like the "catch up" girl. Second string. And while 2000 and 2001 were HUGE for me in terms of booking jobs, I never felt like I'd truly crashed the Chicago acting scene.

When I began teaching children's music, I realized that there was already this whole children's music scene that I knew nothing about. I sing. I play guitar (barely). Kids at SLC love me. And yet, I'm out of that circle. A circle, which in my mind, encompasses the best of the best in children's artists. The legitimate one's. Not the "wannabe's". Here again, I find myself a step behind in terms of really getting in on the success of being a children's music artist. Ok, not that I really ever wanted to be a kid rock star. My point being that I could have gone this route. I just didn't know the opportunity existed.

Now, I come to find out after alot of research that there is this HUGE network of mother's who blog. Mother's who have sponsors from advertisers. Mother's who receive a PAYCHECK for writing. There is even a Chicago Mom's Blog! There are conferences. There are segments about them on the The Today Show. There are hobnobbing sessions with mother's who blog. There's a book coming out this summer called the Best of the Mommy Blogs, or something along that line. The entire idea of this has me screaming . . .

"HOW DID THEY COME UP WITH THAT?!"

Did I miss yet another wagon????????

Just as I'm figuring out what I would love to do, and am positioned on the cusp of generating a new form of creativity and income, I look up to see that the train has already left the station. I'm left on the platform looking into the windows of the women with their laptops, being paid for their ideas and stories. I knock on the window to get someones attention and write a note in the circle of breath I have left on the glass, "Hi. I blog too."

I don't mean to sound pathetic. Forgive me for the whine. However, I often wondered what it would be like to be at the forefront of something. To be one of those people who gets a killer idea and runs with it. Like the person who invented Post-it notes, or that genius blond woman with sickeningly sweet voice who started Baby Einstein in her basement and then eventually sold the company to Disney, or the inventors of the Pee Pee Tee Pee.

"HOW DID THEY COME UP WITH THAT?!"

(Like the Pee Pee Tee Pee people. Every parent learns very quickly to cover that tiny and yet powerful member when removing a baby's clothing, lest one gets an uninvited shower . . . but the idea of a beautifully designed miniature flannel tent for such a situation? Brilliant. And THIS is what I'm talking about.)

Even now, as I write this, I think, "Good Lord, Jo, you sound desperate!"

And yet, that's what blogging is. It's an online diary, right? A place to spew my frustration. So, why censor the aggravation I feel about trailing behind . . . again? About getting an idea after someone has already had it and run with it? About missing another opportunity to initiate something new?

I don't want to merely crash the mommy blogging party. I don't want to lag behind like the younger sibling. For I am no longer content with being best at being second.

Ah! So maybe this means I'm best at no longer being content with being best at being second.

Oh, good grief.

Welcome Back

Welcome back.

Sorry for the hiccup.

When I don't drink enough coffee I do things like . . .

delete my blog by mistake.

Won't do it again.

Trust me.

So, after a few days of quiet panic, (and I truly did keep my emotions together much more than I expected after the fatal "click"), ample emails to blogger, which were never returned, frantic emails to Julie, who I think is a genius, a joyous reunion of my posts via Google Reader, and 3 days of re-designing (I came up with the coffee theme, George came up with the description about the fully caffeinated life and Harper chose all the colors) and cutting and pasting, I'm back up and running.

Why is this blog so very important to me?

Because writing is both my prayerful and creative outlet.

To understand fully, I direct you to my post titled, "Untitled Novel". Like every other post, it's under May.

No, I didn't write 58 posts this month . . . please. I do have a family to care for, skin care to sell, and children to amuse with catchy little songs.

This is a new start, not only of the blog, but of an exploration of breaking into the Mommy blogging world . . . so, no doubt . . . you will begin to see ad's on my site. There's a wagon I want to hop on and it involves blogging and making money. The opportunity does exist. I'm going to find it.

Thank you to those of you who wondered where oh where my little blog went.

It's back now.

So, pour yourself a cuppa Jo and enjoy.

Early To Bed, Early To Rise

We did it.

Today was one of the first days that George and I didn't wake completely exhausted. We were both up and he was out to the gym and I was on the elliptical by 6:00. I'm not certain as to why. Perhaps it was all the fabuloso chili from the church's Chili Cookoff yesterday. I don't know. Not gonna try to figure it out or overthink it. What's done is done and it was GOOD!

So, welcome to our new blogspot. The old website was getting hard to keep up with (making changes and such, since I am far from a cyber wiz) so, once again, those faithful friends from our glorious condo dwelling years, The Bernstein's, came to the rescue. It was nice to have them here last night, Julie on the computer moving my site off of a different webhoster to blogger, Andrew playing with Zane and somehow getting Z to call him "the dude", and Allie and Harper playing, and then not playing, and then playing, and then saying they were bored, and then playing, and then not playing, and so on and so forth. And voila! This morning I have a new blog. Ok, sure it looks exactly like my link to The Accidental Vegan (Melody's site), but you can talk to blogger about that. The choices for designs are limited and this one fit my personality. No, I'm not a vegan. Give me ribs and give them to me NOW.

Speaking of meat . . . oh, wait. Were we? Why not? I was up at 6:00!

Harper dug the chili yesterday. Chili. CHILI! In fact she even commented on Doug Hood's chili (winner of first place in the Heartiest category and Best of Show) saying, "I could eat Doug Hood's chili everyday!" Doug? Please give me that recipe.It was a wonder to see how her mood and energy level were lifted by chili. Hmmm. Protein, perhaps? Anyway, welcome once again to my blog. Know that all posts for Harper, Zane, myself, the family will all be here. You can read old posts on the kids by clicking the sidebar links. George has also started a blog - see the sidebar: My George.I'll update later today with some great Harper and Zaneism's, plus I CAN NOW POST PHOTOS!

Looking foward to keeping you updated.

Thanks for your patience!