PINK LADY (Not the cool Grease kind)

Day Three of Pink Eye Palooza and we're starting to fall apart here.

There are knock-down drag-out fights and fits of rage over getting the drops in Harper's eyes.

The laundry is piling up, as I won't allow anyone to reuse a towel after one use for fear of contamination.

The smell of Lysol is beginning to kill my brain cells.

"This is your brain. This is your brain on Lysol."

How about another round of questions for our patient?

Me: Harper, it was another tough morning. You are driving me insane. I love you, but what's the problem. Take. The. Drops.

Harper: I know I was driving you insane. And I will take the drops.

Me: Tell the good folks out there in blog land about the money that is going to exchange hands if I have to pay $40 to have your pediatrician to administer the drops. Go ahead. Tell 'em.

Harper: Well, what's going to happen is that I am going to have to waste my $20 that I got from my birthday if I won't let you put the drops in.

Me: That's right. I have to pay $40 because the doctor wants to see you, now that the infection has spread to your other eye. BUT, if you won't let me put the drops in first, and they have to do it, you can pay me half the amount of the appointment. Period. How does that sound?

Harper: That doesn't sound too good.

Me: So, what's your choice?

Harper: I'll take the drops here so that they won't have to use the cup thing over my eye to get them in.

Me: Smart move. Girl, I love you, but these past three days have been emotionally exhausting for me. You have really pushed me to my anger limit.

Harper: I have?! Oh . . . I knew that. Ok. Your turn.

Me: I'm done. I need to take a shower.

Harper: I know you need to take a shower.

Me: You sayin' I smell?

Harper: NO!!!!!! You do not smell. I thought you needed to talk a shower so you can relax.

Me: Yes, that's right.

The rest of the day includes: the trip to the doctor's office, calling Keurig to find out why they sent me yet another Keurig Elite, ordering tickets for August: Osage County, looking through my new Chalean Extreme Program that just arrived, and catching up on the episode of Lost that I missed last night.

And laundry.

I realize Jesus had a pretty tough week this week . . . and I'm not saying that any of the frustrations in my life are even close to what He endured, but when one gets to the point where they have to physically sit on their child to administer medicine, it's pretty clear that a low point has been reached.

This has been a Good Friday week for me.

Sunday can't come soon enough.

Harper: Scene.

PINKED! (Not the good Mary Kay kind)

"Good morning, Harper! EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKSSSSSSS!"

Pink eye.

(cue creepy music)

I love when my children experience "firsts". Like, taking her first step. Or, her first lost tooth. Or, how about her first time on a sports team. Now wait! Nothing beats: HER FIRST CASE OF PINK EYE!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

As she is spending yet another day home with moi, Harper and I have agreed to write this post together.

"No, Mom, Mom! Put it in big letters!"

TOGETHER.

Me: So Harper, tell me about that eye of yours.

Harper: Well, when I woke up yesterday, I couldn't open my eye. And I'm like, "MOM! I CAN'T OPEN MY EYE!"

Me: What happened next?

Harper: My mom said I had pink eye. So I had to stay home from school.

Me: Cool. Did you like that?

Harper: Nah. Kind of. Well, at least I had my homework brought home so I could do it. And so, I had to stay home, doing my homework, and playing Bananagrams with my mom.

Me: Hmm, I seem to recall some, well, difficulty with getting the medicine in your eyes. Would I be correct in that assumption?

Harper: Yeah. Well, the first time it was really, like, creepy because it's STUFF GOING INTO YOUR EYE! But, the other times doing it was a little easier-

Me: Hold on . . . easier????? Please.

Harper: It was easier because I got used to it.

Me: I'm sorry, but have you forgotten this morning?

Harper: Yeah. Well, it was kind of hard because . . . yesterday I was used to it, but then I, like, kind of forgot how easy it was. I finally did it.

Me: Yes, but what did it take to convince you?

Harper: My Dad told me a story about when he was little. It was about how he was scared of going to the doctor. His doctor told him you can be sick longer or you can take the shot now and get better soon.

Me: What a sweet story. So, how did I handle you not wanting to take the drops?

Harper: You . . . kind of got really mad. Then you went to your office, shut the door, and I think you put a chair by the door because you were so mad and didn't want anyone to get in.

Me: For the record, I did not put a chair by the door. But I WAS livid. Continue.

Harper: Change of subject.

Me: No, I don't think we're done with this interview.

Harper: I finally got the drop in because Dad told me to close my eyes and then he put the drop on the corner of my eye. Then I opened my eye and the drop came into my eye and then I closed it again to keep it inside. For some reason, Dad did it three times in the same eye.

Me: I think he wanted to make sure it was really in there. So, um, how are you feeling about me now?

Harper: Um, I know that we're OK now and well, when we are done with this post, I wanna play Bananagrams.

Me: I love you, Harps. I love you more than any other girl in the world.

Harper: Yeah! I love you too, Mom. Can we play Bananagrams now?

And with that, our story ends. Tonight, I will be taking the kids to see The Wizard of Oz at Heinz Hall and thankfully, Harper can attend, because she allowed me to force feed her eyeballs the drops.

Harper: Scene.

Me? Coach?

Don't freak out.

You won't be finding me coaching your kid's soccer or softball team.

I soooooo know my limitations.

I have, however, made a huge decision for myself this week which will not only benefit my fitness and health goals, but will place me in a position to encourage and cheer on my friends.

Every heard of P90X? No? I'm surprised.

If you have, let me answer most emphatically that NO, I will not be attempting this program.

Yet.

Yesterday, I signed on to become an Independent Beachbody Coach (the company who developed P90X) because I really like their exercise programs. I do not have a gym membership - the cost, the driving, and the childcare are all hassles that inhibit me from going. I know gyms work for some, but for me - not so much. I'd rather wake up, walk downstairs, exercise (or head outside for a run), walk back upstairs, shower, and be done with it.

However, even I need someone to kick my patootie, so the days I don't run or play tennis, I get help from dvd's - and I've seen a ton of them. I do love me some Jillian Michaels.

But here again - I needed something more and Beachbody brought it.

So, I signed up to be a coach with a company who knows a thing or two about fitness. In turn, I get a nice discount on the programs (such as Chalean Extreme) and supplements (I am a shake and vitamin girl) plus a nice commission when someone purchases from my site. Beachbody takes care of everything else. I just work out and encourage others to get fit!

I needed this accountability for myself. For in order to help people (and specifically women) to both make fitness a habit and to encourage their journey (which, as I joked with a friend tonight, I already do - telling people what to do that is . . . ) I must lead by example. Becoming a coach who can recommend programs and keep people motivated, will, in turn, keep me committed and on track.

George and I have both talked a bit about starting a "Fit Club" at church where we do one of the dvd's with folks one night a week. I think that would be a blast - similar to the Sargent's Program my dad used to be a part of back in D.C. But, that's Phase 2.

Phase 1 is just getting through 90 days of Chalean Extreme. My goal is to be working out every morning at 6:45 "alongside" my friend Janet who is in Maine. We're both passionate about fitness. I'm just not passionate about mornings.

So, Beachbody, here I come.

I'm going to work my tail off so that I can inspire others to work their tails off. America needs to get fit.

Starting with me.

Family Dinner: Rated PG-13

One of the family goals we hoped to conquer upon moving to Beaver was to reclaim our family dinner time which was dangerously close to becoming obsolete.

For whether it was me who was out at a coaching appointment over the dinner hour, or George at a church meeting, we seldom had a night where we all sat down and ate together.

We really wanted this to change and have thus made the effort to give the traditional family dinner a high priority every day. Happily, we can now report that since moving to Beaver there have only been a handful of times when we haven't enjoyed the family meal together.

Many bloggers have commented about the importance of families eating dinner together, and articles have been written on the subject in defense of this important family activity, and yet, it is still treated as a very old-fashioned custom to many families today. And with the increase in extra-curricular activities that actually occur over the dinner hour, family dinners have taken on an archaic reputation.

We may not have the fanciest dinners each night, and at times, due to my lack of planning, we wind up munching on plain 'ole pasta with olive oil and salt plus a steamed vegetable. Setting the table is also a mish mosh of "you get the plates", "and hey, I need a cup", or "you with the face. how 'bout a fork", but, regardless of the meal or the structure of how the table comes together - WE come together.

Last night was a doozy.

One of our favorite meals is George's baked/fried tofu with soy sauce, kale chips, and some sort of Asian soup. Wonton was the winner last night.

Once the food was on the table, the REAL reason for family dinner began.

Harper started the conversation by recounting a training exercise at Girls on the Run which had the girls audibly "ka-booming" activities that are not healthy, in between running drills. She shared three with us.

"Too much alcohol, smoking, and, um, marinara."

Marinara?

Ok, obviously, we knew she had it wrong, and she knew she had it wrong, but all of us had a time trying to figure it out.

Oh. Light bulb. So we're slow.

"Harper, I think she meant marijuana."

"Right. That's it. It's a drug."

That's when the conversation really got good.

"Have either of you ever been drunk?"

I stared at George, knowing the answer. He stared at me knowing the answer. This one was his.

"What about smoking. Ever smoked?"

George stared at me knowing the answer. I stared at him knowing the answer. My turn.

The conversation which ensued resulted in our children being completely freaked out over Daddy being so drunk once in college that he head-butted a stop sign thus splitting his nose open. And then there was Mom who learned how to smoke while sitting on a curb in Munich, Germany while on a High School choir trip to Europe. I was enticed by the colorful cigarettes they sold, (in pink and purple) and was desperately wanting to fit in with the seniors.

"Mommy! Are you going to die! I don't want to talk about this!" yelled Zane.

"No, honey, I threw those cigarettes away. Onto a train track from my hotel window. I don't smoke." I failed to mention the Virginia Slims that I occasionally purchased at the 7-11 after returning from that trip. Based on Zane's reaction, I thought it best to leave that part out.

George shared about his grandfather who passed away from emphysema, and how by the time he was old enough to really know his grand-dad they couldn't really play together because he was ill from smoking. This had a huge impact, as Harper and Zane idolize and adore their grandfathers.

He also shared that it is ok for adults to drink alcohol, but that it is not safe or healthy to drink so much that one's judgement becomes completely loopy, thus making an activity out of accosting street signs.

For a first time discussion about drinking and smoking, we kept the fare light, leaving off the marinara sauce. At least, this go around. Dinners are bound to get saucier. In time, I'm sure we'll add discussion about marinara.

Ladies and Gentleman, may I present, The Family Dinner.

There's No Foolin' My Kid

I am a bit embarrassed to share that Zane spent a ridiculous amount of time in front of the TV yesterday while lounging on the couch in an allergy stupor all day.

Little did I realize what kind of commercials they run in between shows on, of all places, Qubo.

It was around 3:00 when Zane made this statement, "Wow, that is a really bad hairpiece."

I glanced up to see a commercial advertising just that. Hairpieces for men.

I didn't share with Zane that I once yelled, "Great hair!" at Rod Blagojevich as he walked during the Evanston 4th of July Parade. So, I too, can recognize a bad piece. The keen eye must run in the family.

Rod thanked me.

He didn't quite get the joke.

In my opinion, a bad hairpiece for men should be like the lipstick/food on or in between the teeth issue for women.

We tell each other when something looks ridiculous.

Glad Zane is getting this at an early age.

Thanks, Qubo!

Ok, so I'm not totally sure that Rod wears a piece. But, it just looks like one. And, if it is his real hair, than it's even worse than a wig.

Green? Or Green With Envy?

Recently I was talking to myself and asked, "Self, are you just a greenie wannabeenie, or are you really making a concentrated effort to do your part in caring for the Earth?"

I mean, with all the talk out there about green living and organic eating, and antibiotics and steroids, and free range, and local farming, etc., etc., etc., one could get "green envy". However, upon taking an honest assessment of their actual living habits, one might realize that "green with envy" is the only actual thing green about their lifestyle.

So, I asked myself, "Do I have actual habits in place to do my part in helping the environment? With all my talk about healthy eating and clean foods and such, have I really made any lasting changes?"

Time for a self-review.

Last year, right around this time, I wrote this post as one of my Thrifty Thursday articles. I have since abandoned Thrifty Thursdays because, well, I forgot to write them. Thus, they are no more.

It was interesting to re-read my post about Cutting Out Waste to see if one year later I was still on my own band wagon.

Paper towels?
I still do not purchase paper towels. We use microfiber cloths for cleaning, and fabric napkins for eating. Yes, that means more washing, but I have an energy star appliance which uses half the water of a top loader machine and thus, I wash. I have less paper waste. Any paper we do use goes in a bin out back and hauled down the street to the recycling bin when filled to the brim.

I also purchase recycled toilet paper. Toilet paper does not need to be cushy. The cushy stuff isn't good for the pipes anyway. And lets face it. You are wiping your a&* - why be fancy?

Plastic baggies?
Nope. Still don't use them. I know there are folks who clean and dry their baggies. I don't trust myself to do that. Instead, I have trained my family to bring home their rubbermaid containers. Haven't lost one this year.

We recycle other plastics once a month. Yes, we've gone from recycling pickups twice a week to once a month. Our back porch is full.

Household cleaners?
One year later we are still making our own from green products. We moved here 9 months ago, at which time a friend gave me a great assortment of green cleaners that she had made herself. We are still using one of the concoctions she made. It takes a capful of green cleaner and water. The place smells great. The counters are clean enough to eat off of, which I find myself doing often. Must. Sit. Down.

I do use something different on wood, and will admit to using Lysol during our H1N1 scare and the recent pink eye palooza.

We do not use room fresheners. Soy candles are lit frequently.

What about food, Miss Know It All?
That's the thing, I don't know it all, so back off.

• I purchase fair trade or organic coffee. I especially like Green Mountain and Newman's Organic's (100% of profits go to charity, plus Paul Newman was hot).
• You will not find me buying individual bottles of water. Folks, this is sooo expensive. If you don't like the tap water, (and in Beaver, you shouldn't be drinking it without a filter), get a filter. Or, splurge like we have for 5 gallon reuseable jugs. I've gotten a little bit of flack for the cost of our water per month, but if you are buying individual bottles, I can assure you, you are paying more than I am. I use the water from my cooler for making coffee, cooking, the dog, everything. The brita filter just didn't cut it. Sure, we could go fill up our jugs at the grocery store or the beer warehouse (yep - the beer warehouse), but I'd rather budget for delivery. It means that much to me.
• I do not purchase items with high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, or dyes. (not even in bread - seriously, check your bread for HFC) If I want sugar, I eat sugar. What this means for us, is less money spent on snacks for the kids. I bake more. What this means for the kids is that their friends can't stand that we don't have fun snacks that come in individual small expensive packages. Zane loves peanut butter crackers, so we do get those. Both my kids love fruit leathers - brought those to Zane's pre-school and the kids almost cried. One mother, however, did call to ask where we got them. It's healthvangelism. I also get pretzels and corn chips and stuff, but fruit roll-ups? Are you kidding me? If I wanted my kids to eat food dye, I'd squirt it directly into a bowl and give them a spoon.
• I follow the dirty dozen rule when it comes to organics. I can't afford to go organic all the way, so I follow this list of must-have's and must have not's. I can not purchase a non-organic apple. My hands just won't let me. And strawberries. Don't even think about it. Which means? We don't buy strawberries, because I can not afford the organic type. I keep a basket of apples and pears and clementines out all day. The kids know that at any time they may grab a snack from that basket.
• I purchase milk without growth hormones. And actually, if I really think about, not so much milk these days. George and I drink Almond Milk. The kids prefer to get their calcium and D via orange juice, V-8 fusion, and green vegetables.
• I purchase meat without growth hormones or anti-biotics. Which means? There are weeks we don't eat meat (we do have the occasional roast). I do go to McDonald's or Wendy's with the kids once a month. Only now, after watching Food, Inc, I am seriously reconsidering that. Why go there when they love miso soup and California rolls? They don't get a plastic toy, but they don't really need another plastic toy. My kids would be just as stoked if I told them we were getting miso for lunch. And it is for sure healthier for them.

I raised the McDonald's point at dinner tonight, asking the kids what cow's eat.

"Grass."

One would think. I then shared with them what I have learned.

They are now down with California rolls becoming their new "happy meal."

So am I a kill-joy? No. I do purchase the occasional box of cookies (d&^m those girl scouts), and surprise yummy for the kids - which makes the treat more fun. Recently we had Reuben's and I got good 'ole deli meat - nothing fancy. But I don't purchase Popsicles, those fruit snacks with red dye, candy, soft drinks, processed cereals and meat with junk in it as a habit.

Zane and I developed a great smoothie recipe that we then turn into popsicles. I splurge for pudding (with the real sugar), they drink water, and if they want a snack, I bake something, or they grab fruit. It's really not that hard. Yes, there is some complaining. But, they will live.

If you came to my house, the kitchen would seem bare. I shop for meals once a week. I don't stock pile a ton (accept for chicken broth, beans, and such) because I don't buy enough processed stuff that will keep for a long period of time. I do need another freezer. That would rock.

I'm not trying to sound haughty.

What's for dinner tonight?

You won't like it.

Kale chips (seriously, they are so good that Harper and I fight over them), baked tofu (George rocks it and Zane can't get enough), and wonton soup from our Chinese place.

Dessert? Smoothies made with banana, almond milk, honey, some oj, and a few other things thrown in. Nutella is also a staple around here.

I'm not all out crazy green, but I'm doing what I can do for my family. Many of the choices I make are inconvenient (making cleaners, no paper towels, or baggies) and a bit sacrificial (I love meat, and the kids glare at me at times), but we all need to decide what we can do, and do it. If you feel the fight is worth it.

I happen to think it is.

Be Still Zane's Heart

"Zane you need to get ready to go. Get your shoes on. Your friend Emilie is coming to pick you up. Who is Emilie?"

"Emilie? Oh, she's my girlfriend."

And with this exchange, as recounted to me by a friend of mine who was the first recipient of the news that Zane had a girlfriend, spring has sprung. Love is in the air. Cupids arrows have struck.

Only, don't talk about it around the other boys in Zane's class, for "they tease anyone who has a girlfriend." Shhh.

Ok, son. Mum's the word.

Let me warn you, however. A woman, very close to your heart, and looking a lot like, well, me, once told a man the very same thing. "Ok, we'll try this out. But how about not announcing it all over the place. Let's keep things cool and quiet, ok?"

I married him.

So begins the tale of Zane and the first little lady who has won his heart - other than Mom.

He is protective. Chivalrous.

Available.

Our fair maiden: "There is a boy in class who is pushing me."

"I'LL TEACH HIM A LESSON!" barks her Prince Charming.

"Zane is so silly", I share with the said object of son's affection.

"Zane is so strong!” she quips in reply.

This is by no means the first time my son has taken a liking to a fine looking lady's face, for we have often noticed his affinity for older girls, you know of 11 or 12. And true to form, in this case, his latest crush is a year older than our 5 year old lady killer.

Only this time? The feeling is, well, kind of mutual.

But what boy wouldn't love a 6 year old girl who digs Spiderman and molding flubber into the shape of dino livers after a recent hunt and capture of the most evil carnivore? And what girl wouldn't love a 5 year old boy who digs trampoline's and burping contests over a refreshing cherry Italian soda?

It's a match made in Beaver.